Hope For Survival Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

314 Results for Hope For Survival

View 31 - 40 results for hope for survival comic strips. Discover the best "Hope For Survival" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #make cahnges, #history suggests, #infinyte loop, #furious ball, #wild about font, #no hope finsihing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Make these changes and run it by me again. Dilbert: "history suggests I have entered an infinite loop of making changes with no hope of finishing." "My life is a furious ball of nothing." The Boss: "And I'm not wild about the font."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #credible scientist, #products harm enbviornment, #cats doubt on data, #eat wrong food, #hope you die

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take the chair, #don't sell chairs, #sell hope, #hope of chairs, #ship in 2 months, #call and yell, #buy a chair

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

Replacing Robot Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Replacing Robot Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machines, #rights, #robot, #technology, #survival, #suffering, #apathy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've been asked to replace your head. Robot: Um... what's the survival rate for this operation? Dilbert: No one cares. Robot: I'll need a second opinion. Wally: I don't care either.

Tina Should Hope For The Best

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Should Hope For The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaints, #human resources, #results, #transparency, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Have you done anything to address my complaints about management? Catbert: I can't tell you about any confidential conversations I have with management. Tina: So... should I just hope for the best? Catbert: That sounds like a solid plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

User Specifications Are Not Complete

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
User Specifications Are Not Complete  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user specifications, #apps, #build app, #no hope, #fantasize

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?

Building Codes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lab, #construction, #building, #codes, #stringent, #guarantee, #rain, #mayor, #campaign, #sarcasm, #face mask, #false, #hope, #phase

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time travel, #elbonia, #time, #70 years future, #great grandson, #set thing, #won't work out, #cave, #pool, #monster, #gun

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fraternization, #joking, #agenda, #know anything, #important he is, #like his jokes, #late for dinner, #jokes, #table, #meeting, #laughter, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.