How Now Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for how now comic strips. Discover the best "How Now" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dave, #haircut, #learning, #saving, #money, #counting, #divorce, #therapy

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Dilbert asks a man, "What happened to your head, Dave?" Dave replies, "I'm cutting my own hair now." Dave's hair is unevenly cut and shaved in places. Dave continues, "I'm not too far along the old learning curve, but at least I'm saving money." Dilbert asks, "How much did you save?" Dave replies, "Not counting the divorce and therapy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom

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Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #multimedia, #include, #video, #music, #computer, #programs, #morning, #face, #theme, #star wars, #budget, #spreadsheet, #forgot, #survived, #ugly, #science, #collide, #art

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Dilbert stands at a desk in front of a computer and video camera. Dilbert says, "It's called multimedia, Dogbert. Now I can include video and music with my computer programs." Dilbert continues, "This morning I added my face plus the theme song from 'Star Wars' to my budget spreadsheet." Dilbert continues, "I already forgot how I survived without it." Dogbert replies, "It can get pretty ugly when science and art collide."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #romance, #interpreter, #logically, #solve, #emotional, #problems, #reasons, #fix, #hear, #wisdom, #compassion, #arouse, #talk, #himself, #dating, #women and men

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Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #readers digest, #dog, #found, #hundred, #instinct

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Dilbert drives the car and Dogbert sits in the passenger seat. Dogbert asks, "Where are we now?" Dilbert replies, "I can't tell you. That's part of the experiment." Dogbert sits on the roof of the car and Dilbert holds a clipboard. Dilbert says, "I read in 'Reader's Digest' how a dog found his way home from a hundred miles away. I want to test your homing instinct." When Dilbert isn't looking, Dogbert drives away in the car. Dilbert says, "Okay, I think we're ready to begin . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi

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Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #the boss, #presentation

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss, Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "I boosted the power on the pointer pen light so it's easier to see on the wall." Dilbert says, "Look how strong it is now." Dilbert turns the pen on. The beam from the pen burns the hair off the tops of the Boss's and Alice's heads. The Boss says, "Let me see that. I've got a few things to point out." Alice says, "Next."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #reincarnation, #investment, #fund, #invest now, #come back as cow, #fortune in milk, #invest until reincarnate

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Dogbert: I call it 'Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund'. You give me your money now and I invest it until you reincarnate. The compound interest will make you rich. Dilbert: What if I come back as a cow? Dogbert: You'll save a fortune in milk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raises, #no promotions, #mathematical certainty, #inflation, #pooer, #uncertainty, #leader, #not just manager

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The Boss: "The company has announced there will be no raises or promotions this year." "Now, there's a mathematical certainty that no matter how hard you work, inflation will make you poorer." Dilbert: "I hated the old way, with all the uncertainty." The Boss: "I'm not just a manager, I'm a leader!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #benefits dept, #retire now, #haitian penny stocks, #change in tone, #letter about pension, #contrarain investor

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dilbert: Uh-oh...it's never good when we get mail from the benefits department. "retire now or we'll invest your entire pension in haitian penny stocks. Dilbert: Have you noticed a change in tone lately? Wally: Little do they know Im a contrarian investor.