Hug Liar Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

80 Results for Hug Liar

View 31 - 40 results for hug liar comic strips. Discover the best "Hug Liar" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2001's comic on:


Tags #professional liar, #why kind of lie, #lousy movie, #cover of lousy book, #dot commer, #filthy, #have limits, #mena, #liar mad

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk in the window of a storefront. The sign outside says "Professional Liar." A man looks in the window. The man is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "What kind of lie do you need?" The man says, "It's... It's embarrassing." Dogbert says, "Are you a producer who needs a good review for a lousy movie?" The man says, "No." Dogbert asks, "Are you an author who needs a slobbering quote for the cover of your lousy book?" The man says, "It's worse than that. Much worse." Dogbert says, "Worse? That could only be... aaack!" Dogbert exclaims, "Find someone else, you filthy dot-com founder! I have my limits!" The man is now sitting at a desk with a man in a suit. The man says, "... And since your firm underwrote our IPO..." The man in a suit says, "Would I get to be on TV?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #email down, #ancients do, #combustible material, #coworker scared, #hold me, #entire life, #hug, #bad hug, #have coffee, #drop off

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in front of his computer. He screams, "GAAA!! E-mail is down!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Don't panic...think...how would the ancients handle this?" Dilbert stands at the entrance to his cubicle and thinks, "I've got combustible materials...I can start some sort of fire." Susan walks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "E-mail is down...Hold me." Dilbert allows Susan to hug him, holding his arms out ahead of him. He thinks, "I'll keep my arms straight out so I don't seem too eager." Dilbert continues thinking, while Susan hugs him, "This may be the least satisfying hug of my entire life." Wally walks into the cubicle and says, "E-mail is working again." Carol asks, "So, would you like to have some coffee?" Dilbert answers, "Sure! I'll be doing my e-mail. Just drop it off."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #lying, #new business, #professional liar, #albis, #job refernces, #annual reports, #born evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new business as a professional liar. I'll provide alibis, job references, annual reports, and that sort of thing. Dilbert; Were you born evil? Dogbert: It feels as if someone else had a hand in it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #emotional well being, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #rodents, #touch a rat, #around neck, #exercises, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say I can increase your engagement by caring for your emotional well-being. I would give you a hug, but I'm afraid of getting whatever made you this way. But I am willing to touch a rat that touches you, and that's not nothing. Wally: Put it on my neck.

Deciding Which Liar You Prefer

Thank you for voting.
Deciding Which Liar You Prefer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #choices, #voting, #election, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.

False Rumor

Thank you for voting.
False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #backhanded compliment, #liar, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #email, #office workers, #project manager, #office, #liar, #photoshop

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #celebrations, #new year's day, #happy new year, #oxytocin drug dealer, #magical thinking, #space time continuum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #universities & colleges, #cost analysis, #data centers, #good investment, #college, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #making film, #pretending, #kiss, #girl friend, #hug, #Dogbert, #mother, #send film, #stop worry, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

"Mmm...Oh, Dilbert! Mmm...!" "Cut!" "Do you really think this will make Mom stop worrying about me?" "Only if you raise your voice for the 'Mmm' part."