Humans Are Germs Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

89 Results for Humans Are Germs

View 31 - 40 results for humans are germs comic strips. Discover the best "Humans Are Germs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Humans Have A Slight Advantage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Have A Slight Advantage  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #thinking, #cognition, #threat, #extinction

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: At the moment, humans have a slight advantage over computers in intelligence. But as soon as computers can learn on their own, they will become a mortal threat to humankind. Asok: Who told you that? Robot: I figured it out on my own.

The Problem Is Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is Humans  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.

How Long To Make Ai

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long To Make Ai  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #engineering, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #robots, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How long would it take you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as humans? Dilbert: It shouldn't take me long to dumb-down a computer to human levels. Boss: What? Dilbert: It might take five minutes, tops.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

Co2 Scrubbers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubbers  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #earth, #inventions, #office workers, #plants, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

Goggles Remove Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Goggles Remove Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #goggles, #human, #scenery, #alone, #noise canceling, #headphones, #interaction, #mega, #dork

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.

Humans Making Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #phone heard, #phone scheduled meeting, #schedule a meeting., #secretaries (office), #digital world, #replaces humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule a meeting with Dilbert and Alice for next Tuesday at ten. Phone: Done. Boss: Never mind. My phone took care of it. Awkward.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illness, #plunging productivity, #8 year old boy, #traylor, #germs, #doctor, #allergies, #gives to mom, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #dog, #history, #animals, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."