Ideas Comic Strips - Page 4
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143 Results for Ideas
View 31 - 40 results for ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 11,
2003
Tags insincere optimism, artificial sense of urgency, delusion, work for challenge, not money, good ideas, sound bad
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.
Monday November 15,
2004
Tags product development, brain storm ideas, boredom, chocolate cake, after lunch, roast beef mittens
Transcript
Product development The boss: first we'll cover the walls with brain storm ideas. How about something that turns boredom into chocolate cake? The Boss: I should have done this after lunch. Roast beef mittens?
Saturday February 17,
2007
Tags good ideas, suffer your ideas, good listener
Transcript
The Boss: Alice, I have some good ideas about your project." Alice: GAAA! Why me?" Alice: Why must I suffer your ideas? Why, why, why?! The Boss: You're not a good listener. Alice: SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!"
Saturday October 20,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, executives, wages, long tern survival, innovate ways, cannibalize, current prodcuts, lose a fortune, ceo's compensation, revenue dips, hovel, some ideas, money
Transcript
Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.
Tuesday January 29,
2008
Tags intern, ideas, reject, listen, putrid ideas, warnings, time management, pretend to care
Transcript
Asok: I'll tell you my idea if you promise not to reject it before thinking about it. Dilbert: I already rejected it because only putrid ideas come with warnings. Dilbert: My time management is getting better. Dogbert:I can't pretend to care."
Thursday October 21,
2010
Sunday April 13,
2008
Tags brilliant ideas, carnage, honesty, ignorance, ludicrous ideas, mean spirited, mistaken self image, roll eyes, share project, verbally demolish
Transcript
Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."
Sunday October 19,
2008
Tags idea squirrel, steals your ideas, treats you like a nut, tackle him, boss office, squirrel, great ideas
Transcript
Asok says, "Anyway, that's what I think should be done." Dilbert says, "IDEA SQUIRREL!" Asok says, "WHAT? WHAT?" Dilbert says, "The idea squirrel steals your ideas and treats you like a nut for saying they were yours!" Asok says, "What do I do now?" Dilbert says, "Your only hope is to tackle him before he gets to our boss's office." Asok says, "GAAA!!!" The Idea Squirrel says, "Grrr..." Someone says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Why is the squirrel that always has great ideas fighting with that nut?"
Sunday July 24,
2005
Tags director of marketing, ideas, undercuts authority, boss, putrid boss, bullying, initative, hammered
Transcript
"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."
Sunday May 23,
2004
Tags performance review, meetings, too negative, poo posed ideas, cold fusion, perpetual motion, clothes dryer, antigravity pants, mri vending machine, terrible ideas, negative attitude, tongue scraper
Transcript
"Performance review" "People say you're too negative in meetings." "Negative? When?" "According to the marketing department, you poo-pooed a number of their ideas..." "...The cold fusion scooter, perpetual motion clothes dryer, antigravity pants, MRI vending machine, and the list goes on." "Those are terrible ideas!" "Negative attitude!!! Gottcha!!!" "Okay, you're right. From now on, I will support all terrible ideas." "Good." "It's a tongue scraper and a frozen flagpole!" "Can it be electrified?"


