Ignorance And Envy Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

121 Results for Ignorance And Envy

View 31 - 40 results for ignorance and envy comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorance And Envy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most valuable asset, #rampant ignorance, #really cost, #better jobs, #across the street, #don't know bugs, #wearing trash cans, #accidental exposure, #consultant, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting at a conference table across from Dilbert and Alice and flanked by the boss and Wally. Dogbert says, "What is your most valuable asset?" Wally says, "Employees?" The boss stifles a laugh "Hee" Dogbert says, "Your most valuable asset is rampant ignorance." Dogbert continues, "For example, you would never start a project if you knw how much it would really cost." Turning to Wally, Dogbert says, "Employees stay here because they don't know there are better jobs across the street." Wally says, "What?" Turning to the boss, Dogbert says, "Customers buy your products because they don't know about all the bugs." The boss says, "Good point." Holding a trashcan, Dogbert says, "I recommend wearing trash cans on your heads to avoid any accidental exposure to knowledge." An employee, wearing a trashcan over his head, says, "Did he tell you he was a consultant?" Another trashcanned employee says, "He said he was selling trash cans."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #influence recommendation, #well informed, #easily informed, #charismatic ignorance, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I won't give my opinion because I don't want to influence your recommendation. Dilbert: Good idea. My well-informed mind is so easily swayed by your charismatic ignorance. Boss: That's not what I'm saying. Dilbert: Then who did I hear?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #sales personnel, #existing system, #ignorance us not an option, #survey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'll need to know if your device is compatible with our existing system. Salesman: It is 100% compatible with your system. Dilbert: I didn't even tell you what system we have. Salesman: That doesn't matter. Dilbert: It sort of does. Salesman: Not to me. Dilbert: So you don't really know if it will work? Salesman: I'm entitled to my opinion. Dilbert: Ignorance is not an opinion!!! Salesman: Please stay on the line for a brief survey.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #magic, #thinking, #incomplete data, #intuition and epxerince, #make decision, #magical thinking, #fixes ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have incomplete data, so I'll need to use my intuition and experience to make the decision. Dilbert: Because magical thinking fixes ignorance? Boss: Hush! I think I have something. Dilbert: I think so, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #programming skills, #next hire, #python, #java, #php, #solve, #ignorance problems, #gap in knowledge, #string theory, #graviton

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; What programming skills should I be looking for in our next home? Dilbert: Jquery, ruby,HTML5, Python , Java , PHO and of course, C++ BOSS: Maybe you could wrote this down. Dilbert: Sure. That should totally solve your ignorance problem. Are there any other gaps in your knowledge that I can fix by writing things down? Dilbert: How about string theory? I can explain that in a few words. Graviton....supersymmetry....perturbation...M-theory. Boss: I know string theory now.

Human Crossed The Road

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Crossed The Road - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #humor, #ignorance, #technology, #robot, #power, #conscience, #sentience, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Why did the human cross the road? Dilbert: I don't know. Robot: Neither did he. Ignorance is a big problem with you people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manipulation, #fear, #tactic, #ignorance, #jargon, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #envy, #useful member of society, #admiration, #respect, #peers, #talked out of

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm toying with the idea of becoming a useful member of society. Then I could enjoy the admiration and respect of my peers. Dilbert: The way you respect and admire me? Wally: Great! Now you've talked me out of it!