Ignorant And Worthless Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

133 Results for Ignorant And Worthless

View 31 - 40 results for ignorant and worthless comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorant And Worthless" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #create a buzz, #free rope, #worthless engineer, #around neck, #over beam, #suicide, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Queen bee of Marketing" A large bee women wearing glasses sits on a thrown. She hands a piece of paper to a man and says, "See if you can create a buzzover this." The man says, "Yes, my queen." The queen reached out to Dilbert who carries a coil of rope and says, "Is that free rope? Give it to me, you worthless engineer!" The queen bee wraps the rope around her neck and says, "Look everyone! There's enough to go around my neck and over that beam!" Dilbert tiptoes away.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless awards, #famous people, #celebrities, #award ceremony, #become pretigious, #dogcart gullibility awards, #honor, #nominated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert are on the couch, relaxing at home. Dogbert says: "I'm planning to give worthless awards to famous people." Dogbert continues: "If enough celebrities come to the award ceremony, it will become prestigious." Hair flying in the wind, a celebrity in his convertible speaks into his cell-phone: "I've never heard of the Dogbert Gullibility Award, but it's an honor to be nominated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorant, #intranet collaboration, #sign it, #their ignorance, #tools, #dogbert consults, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

As a consultant, Dogbert says to the Boss "All of your employees are ignorant." Dobgert continues, "I can fix that by selling you intranet collaboration tools." The Boss says to Dgbert in an uneasy voice, "But if they're sharing their ignorance..." Dogbert thinks to himself, "Sign it, sign it, sign it..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asks on date, #away, #faq section, #ignorant, #without merit, #website, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Ming and says, "Ming, our website needs a FAQ section." Ming replies, "I find your suggestion ignorant and without merit. Away with you." Dilbert, unaffected by her response asks "So...are you doing anything this weekend?" Ming sighs, "Gaaa!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bags of crud, #highly valued, #stock options, #worth a fortune, #worthless, #shut up

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally approaches the Boss sitting at his desk reading the paper. Wally says, "My stock options are worth a fortune now, you miserable bag of crud!" The Boss types something in his computer and says, "Oh, look, they're back down to worthless." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Try telling him that bags of crud are highly valued in some societies." Wally says, "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dysfunctional family, #worthless, #seventy hours, #weekly, #more like you, #screams at worker

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is sitting across from a terrified looking person. The boss says, "I understand that you were raised in a dysfunctional family." The man says, "Yes" The boss yells, "You're gonna work seventy hours a week or you're worthless!!" The man says, "You love me." The boss says, "Are there any more like you at home?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #highest priority, #totally worthless, #empowered, #make decison, #double edged sword

View Transcript

Transcript

Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert asks The Boss, "Which assignment is the highest priority?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is it the totally worthless one or the other totally worthless one?" Dilbert says, "I hope I'm empowered to make that decision." The Boss says, "Hope is a double-edged sword."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #six sigma program, #doomed, #same consulatant, #worthless progarms, #totally different name

View Transcript

Transcript

"You've got to implement a six sigma program or else you're doomed." "Aren't you the same consultant who sold us the worthless TQM program a few years ago?" "I assure you that this program has a totally, totally different name." "When can we start?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling stock options, #made fortune, #now bankrupt, #401k worthless, #stolen savings, #bad time, #make quote marks, #in effect

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to The Boss, "You made a fortune selling your stock options last month and now we're bankrupt." Alice continues, "My 401l is worthless. So, in effect, you've stolen my life savings." Alice yells, "This would be a bad time to make quote marks in the air while saying, 'in effect.'" The Boss has his hands raised to make quote marks. He stops and says, "Ooh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broke, #bankrupt comapny, #401k worthless, #diversifying your investments, #37% retrurn, #burn in hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I'm broke. The company declared bankruptcy and my 401k savings are worthless." Dogbert replies, "No, I've been impersonating you and diversifying your investments into tobacco, sweat shops, and diamond mines." Dilbert says, "Really?! How am I doing?" Dogbert responds, "It's mixed. You have a 37% return but your soul will burn for eternity."