Ignorantly Signed Comic Strips - Page 4

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44 Results for Ignorantly Signed

View 31 - 40 results for ignorantly signed comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorantly Signed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #subatomic particle, #statisfied cutomers, #arthur quark, #george meaon, #signed certificate

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Dogbert: "For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you." "Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark, and George Meson." "It comes with an unsigned certificate!" Dilbert: "I like 'em clean."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #product awareness class, #hands on training, #next version

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The Boss: I signed you up for a product awareness class. Dilbert: GAAA!!! The Boss: They'll give you hands on training Man: we're hoping to fix this problem in the next version.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2006's comic on:


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"When you worked here, you signed a non-compete agreement." "It clearly states that you are not allowed to earn money, sleep indoors, procreate or seek medical care." "Section 5B describes what you must now do with this ceremonial dagger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2007's comic on:


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Have you signed Ted's get well card yet? "Don't leave that here. Ted passed away two weeks ago. How long have you had the card on your desk?" "Have you signed Ted's get well card yet?" "Put it on the pile."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #class, #personality, #communication skills, #shake hand, #coffee cup, #psychology

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The Boss says, "I signed you up for a class to try and get rid of that thing you have." Dilbert says, "What thing?" The Boss says, "The thing. You know. The thing that makes you the way you are." Dilbert says, "My personality?" The Boss says, "Exactly. But we call it communication skills because it sounds less rude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new faces, #introductions, #asok the intern, #signed to everyone, #conference room, #upsetting introductions

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I see some new faces, let's go around the table and introduce ourselves." Asok starts, "I'm Asok, the intern." Asok points to The Boss and says, "I report to you." Asok points to Alice and says, "But I also report to Alice on a dotted line." Asok points to Carol and says, "And I report to Carol, on a fuzzy, thin line." Asok continues, "I have a blinking, irregular line to Wally, and a wavy, brown line to Dilbert." Alice begs, "Please... make this stop." Asok continues, "And a disturbing, imaginary line to a food-service cashier who touched my hand while giving me change."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #socialize, #getting buy in, #dialoging for feedback, #building consensus, #temperature check, #straw man, #inoculate stakeholders, #letter from sa

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "You need to socialize your idea with the rest of the department." Dilbert replies, "Socialize? Is that the same as getting buy-in?" The Boss answers, "It's one step below buy-in. It's more like dialoging for feedback." Dilbert says, "Wait...I thought that building consensus was one step below buy- in." The Boss responds, "Just run it up a flagpole and see who salutes." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be better to do a temperature check using a straw man?" The Boss answers, "Maybe... But is that going to inoculate the stakeholders?" A letter from Scott Adams reads, "Dear Reader, If you or anyone you love understands the preceding conversation, you have my deepest sympathy." Signed, "S.A."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #competitor, #better job, #employment agreement, #knowledge or skills, #crazy, #clamp, #suck, #took away, #verbal skills, #golf ball head

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An employee says to The Boss, "I quit. I got a better job with our competitor." The Boss responds, "Okay, but remember the employment agreement you signed." The Boss continues, "You agreed to not take away knowledge or skills you acquired at this job." The employee replies, "That's crazy. How can I stop knowing what I learned?" Catbert enters and says, "Come with me." There is a huge contraption with a suction cup. The employee looks up at it and asks, "Will this hurt?" Catbert responds, "I hope so." The machine clamps on the employee's head and makes the sounds, "Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck." Catbert is working the controls. He says, "Ha ha!! I got your technical knowledge! And there go your verbal skills!" The employee has nothing left but a tiny ball for a head. He says, "Great. Now what do I do?" Catbert responds, "I'd stay away from the golf course."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #objectives, #play computer, #solitaire, #drink coffee, #valuable lesson, #reading documents, #signing, #games of solitaire, #something new, #employee of month

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The Boss walks down the hall and thinks, "I hate today.. I hate today." The Boss takes a seat by Wally in the conference room and thinks, "Wally's annual performance review." The Boss says to Wally, "Let's compare your objectives with.." The Boss pauses and then continues, "What the...?" The Boss says, "Apparently your objectives are "play computer solitaire and drink coffee." Wally says, "I hope you're learning a valuable lesson about reading documents before signing them." The Boss responds, "Okay, we'll use what we have. How many games of solitaire did you win?" Wally says, "Win? I didn't know you could win. Is that something new?" After the meeting, Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "He made you employee of the month?" Wally responds, "He thinks he signed a warning for my file."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #south pole, #sending away, #control freak, #manipulating, #sending dilbert, #cold

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Noriko says to Dilbert, "I signed you up for a trip to the South Pole." Dilbert asks Noriko, "Um... why?" Noriko says to Dilbert, "You'll love it. You leave tomorrow." Dilbert says forcefully to Noriko, "I am not going to the South Pole!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Oh, I get it; You're a control freak." Dilbert yells, "GAAA! Can't you see that it's you who is trying to control me?!! Noriko says to Dilbert, "All I see is you trying to manipulate me into not sending you to the South Pole." Dilbert, dressed in a fur-trimmed parka and carrying a suitcase, says to Catbert, "It seemed easier."