Inaccurate Data Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

179 Results for Inaccurate Data

View 31 - 40 results for inaccurate data comic strips. Discover the best "Inaccurate Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #executives, #strategic planning, #sessions, #inadequate data, #knowledge attained, #reorganize, #tried, #magazine

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss meets with Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, "Our executives have started their annual strategic planning sessions." The boss says, "This involves sitting in a room with inadequate data until an illusion of knowledge is attained." The boss says, "Then we'll reorganize. because that's all we know how to do!" Wally says, "Have you tried it with a magazine?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss can't understand hire, #rodeo clown, #engineer, #smells like hay, #fifty percent, #data network engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

A man in a dirty shirt says, to the boss, "Mwa fwa fwa ooh mah fuh." The boss says, "I can't understands a word you say." The boss says, "And your poorly dressed. You must be some sort of technology expert. Or a rodeo clown." The boss introduces dirty guy to Alice. The boss says, "There's a fifty percent chance I hired a data network engineer." Alice says, "I smell hay."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budget numbers, #totally inaccurate, #only numbers, #infinite inaccurate numbers, #encrypt them

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss stick his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Do you have those budget numbers from last months?" Dilbert says, "They're totally innaccurate." The boss says, "I know but those are the only numbers we have." Dilbert says, "Actually we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from." The boss says, "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them." Dilbert says, "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #lawyer, #court, #Dilbert, #whistle blower, #emplyer, #aaplets, #cookie data, #competing protals, #jury selction, #hungry, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: Okay whistle blower, explain to the jury the alleged crimes pf your employer. ...Then our applets were designed to corrupt cookie data from all competing portals. Dilbert: Nice jury selection, Lawyer: So far you've made them hungry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #upgrade software, #old software, #back up data, #delete it yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #analyze data, #hostile takeover, #pattern, #laser pointer, #size head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert pionts at an overhead projection and says, "Then if you.." A man interrupts and says, "...analyze the data." Dilbert thinks, "It's a hostile takeover of my presentation!" The man steps in front of Dilbert and says, "... you'll see a pattern." Dilbert sits on the couch at home in his robe eating ice cream. Dogbert says, "And you let him do it?" Dilbert says, "He had a laser ponter the size of your head."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #market research data, #mouse, #footsteps

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sitting at his computer and the boss who is sitting behind him says: "Wally, don't do anything until we get the market research data." The boss walks away. Wally thinks: "No longer must I put my hand on the mouse when I hear footsteps. Yes!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #data mining, #uncover sales, #mine data, #messages, #tie and shirt, #messages from god

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults: The boss is sitting at his desk and Dogbert is on top of his desk. Dogbert says to the boss: "You need to do data mining to uncover hidden sales trends." Dogbert says: "If you mine the data hard enough, you can also find messages from God." The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, on the table Dogbert has sheets of paper and shows them to the boss there is also a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "...sales to lefthanded squirrels are up...and God says your tie doesn't go with that shirt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #data minig, #another message, #stealing lunches, #refigerator, #break room, #pudding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults: The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is typing on a laptop. Dogbert says to the boss: "My data-mining software has found another message from God." Dogbert says to the boss: "It says you've been stealing lunches from the refrigerator in the break room." The boss looks surprised and scared. Dogbert says to the boss: "Then it says, "Ha ha, that wasn't pudding!"" The boss covers his mouth with both hands.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #data, #make face, #quite shoccking, #sales higest, #mining data

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is wearing a mining hard hat. The boss says: "Our consultant has been mining all day." Dogbert says: "The results are quite shocking." The boss is sitting between Dilbert and Dogbert, he is reading a sheet of paper. The boss says: "According to the data, sales are always highest when I do this..." The boss pulls the side of his mouth with one hand and pulls his nose up with the other, Dilbert and Dogbert look at him.