Industry Average Comic Strips - Page 4

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112 Results for Industry Average

View 31 - 40 results for industry average comic strips. Discover the best "Industry Average" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #better job, #agreement, #industry, #cripes, #dance on head

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall of a bearded man. Catbert says, "So you think you're leaving for a better job?" The man says, "Yes." Catbert says, "Your agreement with us bans you from working in this industry if you quit. Ha!" Catbert dances on the man's head. Catbert says, "Holy cripes! It DOES say you can dance on my head." Catbert says, "Hold still."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #blood pressure screening, #below company average, #get away with

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FREE BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENING TODAY blod pressure screening, below average, more work, Dilbert and the boss are in line to have their blood pressure taken. The boss is holding some folders. Over the head of the woman who is taking Dilbert's blood pressure hangs a board that reads: "Free blood pressure screening today" The woman says to Dilbert: "135 over 88." The boss hands some folders to Dilbert and says: "You're bellow the company average. Here's some more work." Dilbert looks surprised. The boss is behind Dilbert, who is walking all worked up and angry. The boss says to Dilbert: "How long did you think you could get away with that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #advertsisemnst, #fame, #new ceo, #recommend exploit, #hi tech industry

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Standing on a desk Dogbert says to the Boss, "Your new CEO is the most powerful woman in the hi-tech industry." Dogbert contiues, "I recommend exploiting her fame in your advertisements." Holding a bikini set attached to a hanger, the Boss replies "Why do I have to be the one to suggest it?" Dogbert answers, "CEOs love this sort of thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #18 hour days, #industry, #competitors die trying, #match

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #average performance, #group to high, #lower ratings, #actual perfromance, #affect erfromance

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert reports, "The average performance evaluation for your group is too high." The Boss asks, "Do you want me to lower their ratings or their actual performance?" Catbert responds, "Whatever." Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is standing behind him with one arm reached out towards the back of Dilbert's head. Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my performance." The Boss replies, "Why? I'm not touching you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #six sigma consulatant, #increased profits, #industry downturns, #flat growth, #industries, #upturned

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "Every company that used my six sigma program increased profits." Dogbert continues, "...Except for the ones that were in industry downturns..." Dogbert continues, "...Or flat growth industries... Or industries that only upturned a little bit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

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Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #job application, #increase workload, #performance becomes average, #excel

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Job Applicant "How do you reward your top performers?" "I keep increasing their work loads until their performances become average." "So, why would anyone try to excel?" "I use only the finest motivational posters."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #invoices, #unauthorized dedcutions, #standard industry practice, #dance like chickens, #chicken are funny

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Dogbert: "You can rob your small suppliers by making unauthorized deductions from their invoices." "When they complain, say it's a standard industry practice and threaten to take your business elsewhere." "The make them dance like chickens." The boss: "Ha! Ha! Chickens are funny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #have plan, #division perfromance, #worst division, #average performance, #merge

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The boss: I have a plan to avoid paying division performance bonuses. I'll merge our group with the worst division so our average performance is lower. her- hee! I should be eay because every division manager is already begging to merge with me.