Industry Halo Effect Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for industry halo effect comic strips. Discover the best "Industry Halo Effect" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change happens, #kickboxing, #reverse sheep effect, #reverse sheep effecte, #wear pants

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The Garbageman says to Dilbert, "You can reverse the sheep effect by signing up for a kickboxing class." The Garbageman continues, "The change will happen quickly, so be prepared." Dilbert responds, "Umm.. Okay." Dilbert is in the middle of a kickboxing class. He transforms back into a human, loses all of his wool, and finds himself naked. Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly I realize he meant 'wear pants.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bone deep, #carefree, #medication, #shellfish, #until the pun, #beauty, #side effect, #health

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Dilbert is at a party; he has an exoskeleton. He's holding a drink and talking to a woman. Dilbert says, "My medication makes me carefree and happy, but the side effect is an exoskeleton." Dilbert continues, "Remember the old saying - 'Beauty is only skin deep.'" He giggles, "Hee hee." Dilbert continues, "But enough about me. I don't want to look shellfish." The woman responds, "You had a chance until the pun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

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Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invoices, #unauthorized dedcutions, #standard industry practice, #dance like chickens, #chicken are funny

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Dogbert: "You can rob your small suppliers by making unauthorized deductions from their invoices." "When they complain, say it's a standard industry practice and threaten to take your business elsewhere." "The make them dance like chickens." The boss: "Ha! Ha! Chickens are funny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #other people, #problems, #discomfort, #effect on oether, #oblivious

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Dilbert: I've noticed that all my problems are caused by other people. Dilbert: Ive noticed that all of my problems are caused by other people. Yet ut seen sos unlikely that other people would cause me so much discomfort while i never bother anyone. Is it possible that Im oblivious to my effect on others? dogcart: ZZZZZ

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #meeting, #miss step, #mole hired, #reporting, #chilling effect, #business

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RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #adopting best practices, #industry, #mediocrity, #mediocre, #practices

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The Boss says, "We will be adopting the best practices in our industry, just like everyone else." Dilbert says, "If everyone is doing it, best practices is the same thing as mediocre." The Boss says, "STOP MAKING MEDIOCRITY SOUND BAD!" Dilbert says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dress code, #office, #office workers, #company shirts, #casual freidays, #lower self esteem, #stop complaining, #industry average, #feel overpaid

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Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experinced, #industry, #technology, #youth oriented, #culture, #modem, #hit with modem, #new technology

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Old man: I know what Im talking about. I have thirty years in this industry! Asok: How does that help you understand technology that is six months old in a youth oriented culture? Old man: GRRR... ASOK: Please don't hit me with your modem.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #medicine, #side effects, #halo, #suggestion, #medical

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Doctor says, "These pills should get rid of the wings that the last pills gave you as a side effect. Doctor says, "It's an off-label use, but I have a good feeling about it." Dilbert says, "What now?" Doctor says, "At this point, sinning is your best bet."