Information Servvces Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for information servvces comic strips. Discover the best "Information Servvces" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally report, #serious threat, #productivity, #new things, #brain full, #forget fifth grade, #more information, #can't sustain information

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Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Wally says: "In this week's Wally report, I'll discuss a serious threat to my productivity." Wally says: "By Tuesday my brain was so full that I had to forget things to make room for new things." Alice looks to Wally through the coner of her eyes. The boss says: "Wally. I have some information for you." Wally says: "Great. I'll just forget the fifth grade."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dilbert not buying it, #excuses, #get information, #hate people, #promise, #resentment, #saves time, #advance

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Dilbert is sitting at a table with a co-worker. The co-worker tells Dilbert: "I'll get this information for you." Dilbert replies: "No you won't. You'll wait until I hunt you down and then you'll say you were too busy." On the couch at home with Dogbert, Dilbert says: "Today I started hating people in advance." Dogbert replies: "It saves time."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer, #information services, #web mistress, #firewall inadequate, #talk cobol baby

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Mordac approaches Ming and says, "I am Mordac, the preventor of information services!" Ming replies, "I am web mistress Ming!" Mordac says to Ming, "Your firewall is inadequate. You must be punished!" Ming responds, "Your HTML is weak! You must be punished!" Mordac holds Ming in his arms tilting her backward and says, "I must have you!" Ming replies, "Talk Cobol to me, baby."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #director of information, #e-diot, #easy way, #title

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Wally says to The Boss, "You should put an 'E-' in front of your title." Wally says, "It's too boring just being the Director of Information, Operations and Technology." The Boss says to his secretary, Carol, "From now on, call me the E-DIOT." Carol says, "If only there were an easy way to remember that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gigantic database, #customer behavior, #information, #non linear math, #data mining technology, #optimize retail channels, #spam, #meeting here

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "We have a gigantic database full of customer behavior information." Dilbert says, "Excellent. We can use non-linear math and data mining technology to optimize our retail channels!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "If that's the same thing as spam, we're having a good meeting here."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #most evil way, #database, #customer information, #sell mailing list, #spam, #balckmail, #data bse, #clumping

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The Boss says to Catbert, "What's the most evil way to use our database of customer information? The Boss says, "Should we sell our mailing lists, spam without mercy, or just blackmail customers?" Catbert says, "Um... Do you have me in that database?" The Boss says, "We know all about your clumping problems."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #information services, #preventer, #computer, #pda, #catbird intervenes, #human rsources, #nework cable, #technology

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Mordac bursts into Dilbert's cubicle. Mordac says, "I am Mordac. the preventor of information services!" Mordac says, "I'll take your computer and your little PDA too!" Dilbert hugs his monitor. Mordac says, "Do you recognize this?" Mordac holds up a wire. Dilbert says, "Aaaagh! That's my network cable!" Dilbert says, "What do you want from me?!" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Mordac, it is I catbert, the evil director of human resources!" Catbert jumps down onto Mordac. Catbert says, "You made my personal printer a shared device!" Dilbert watches a clothing flies. Dilbert is at home and says, to Dogbert, "Two wrongs made a right." Dogbert says, "Welcome to my reality."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thirty million dollars, #nigerina, #banker, #bank information, #email, #ten percent commission, #tube sock, #fell behind dryer, #ratbert, #typing, #computer, #answering scam, #technology

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Ratbert approaches Dogbrt holding a letter. Ratbert says, "A Nigerian banker needs my help getting thirty million dollars out of his country!" Ratbert continues, "All I need to do is give him my bank information by e-mail and I'll get a ten percent commission." Ratbert is seen typing: "Dear Gustava, my bank is a tube sock that fell behind the dryer."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email service problem, #no email, #phone call, #playing with tech support, #three computers, #web function, #account information

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer at home. He says into the telephone, "Look, I have three computers in the house. All three simultaneously lost e-mail but not web function." He continues, shaking his fist in the air, "That means the problem is in your e- mail service. Can you grasp that concept?" Dilbert is laying on the couch with a cup of coffee. He says into the phone, "Okay. I'm re-entering my account information... Hey, guess what? That didn't work either."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #information services, #exceeded, #server storage limit, #double storage space, #mystique, #25 cents, #preventer of info

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Mordac says to Alice, "I am Mordac The Preventor of Information Services. You have exceeded your server storage limit." Alice hands Mordac a quarter and says, "Here's 25 cents so you can afford to double my storage space." Mordac walks away, looks at the quarter in his hand, and thinks, "I think my mystique just took a hit."