Interviews Comic Strips - Page 4
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46 Results for Interviews
View 31 - 40 results for interviews comic strips. Discover the best "Interviews" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 18,
2012
Tags anger, interviews, job applicant, second opinion, jb hoppr, bunny costume, 17 jobs, 2 years, red flags, rage issues, passionate
Transcript
Boss: I need a second opinion on a job applicant. His name is J.B. Hopper. He dresses in a bunny costume and he's had seventeen jobs in two years. Catbert: Are there any red flags? Boss: I can't tell if he's passionate or if he has rage issues.
Sunday February 03,
2013
Tags anger, angry, hateful creature, hope, interviews, job interview, managers & supervisors, monster, optimisim, smile, toxic work place, business
Transcript
Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.
Tuesday February 03,
2009
Tags interview, job, hanging, ridiculous, humiliation, business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "In your first round of interviews we tested your reaction to humiliation and small arms fire." Dogbert says, "In round two I will test your ability to keep company secrets." Ratbert says, "When are you going to tell him this is a courtesy interview?" Dilbert says, "What?"
Wednesday April 15,
2009
Sunday May 12,
2013
Tags interviews, mental health, creative, adhd, dyslexia, bipolar, schizophrenia, creativity, normal is boring, turning tables, job interview
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.
Saturday June 01,
2013
Tags earring, headphones, interviews, self comscious, snobbishness, startup culture, self conscious, hipster, earing
Transcript
Interview at a start-up Interviewer: We only hire people who fit into our awesome start-up culture. Dilbert: No problem. I can be a self-conscious hipster if you think that's what keeps the lights on. Interviewer: I kind of do. Dilbert: What would I need besides an earring and headphones?
Sunday June 16,
2013
Tags interviews, lying, job interview, exaggerate credntials, more effective, business skill, misleading, convince customers, prodcuts, dupe some idiot, learn tech skills, honesty, hr, send offer, liar
Transcript
Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.
Friday June 28,
2013
Tags absent mindedness, interviews, unemployed, out of work, rising a bike, swivel, fall, chair
Transcript
Boss: I'm concerned because you've been out of work for such a long time. Interviewee: It's like riding a bicycle. Once you learn, you always know how. Boss: Are you okay? Interviewee: Did chairs always swivel?
Thursday September 05,
2013
Tags embarrassment, internet & world wide web, interviews, resume, old way, job interview, data online data, ew, disgust, walked out
Transcript
Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.
Wednesday April 16,
2014
Tags interviews, loneliness, accomplishments, job interview, hnesty, wrong motives, employment, make a difference, catatonic
Transcript
Boss: Describe your biggest accomplishment from your last job. Interviewee: I made some phone calls and stuff. I think I made a difference. Boss: Do you want this job? Interviewee: Nah. Just lonely.


