Irrational Orders Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

52 Results for Irrational Orders

View 31 - 40 results for irrational orders comic strips. Discover the best "Irrational Orders" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #business card orders, #downsized, #3 per week, #possibility of leaving, #rates, #fees, #calculations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #new hire, #bottleneck, #bill, #titanium

View Transcript

Transcript

Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #director of purchasing, #ethernet switch, #pencils, #annoyed, #problem, #dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob, Director of Purchasing Asok says, "I requested an ethernet switch and you sent me a box of pencils." Bob says, "Sometimes I tweak the non-standard orders so I can use our approved vendors." Asok says, "You can't tell the difference between a switch and a pencil?" Bob says, "I can tell the difference between your problem and mine."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sales, #economy, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #committee, #meeting, #yelling, #orders, #servants, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "You two are my executive compensation committee." Ratbert says, "I live to serve you, my lord and master!" Dogbert says, "Dial it back just a little." Bob says, "Are we allowed to kneel?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #orders, #demands, #work, #ridiculous, #confused

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #work, #orders, #miserable, #cruel, #mean, #trip, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to attend a three-day industry standards meeting in Elbonia." Dilbert says, "Why Elbonia?" The boss says, "Because Elbonia is the worst place on Earth. The member companies don't want this to look like a boondoggle." Dilbert says, "I guess three days won't be so bad." The boss says, "You're not allowed to eat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #orders, #job, #elbonia, #training, #lonely, #uncomfortable, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"