Job Of Ceo Comic Strips - Page 4

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1000 Results for Job Of Ceo

View 31 - 40 results for job of ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Job Of Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cost cutting, #job for a day, #dream of grave, #less motivating

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The Boss approaches Carol with another man. The Boss says, "Our department won the cost-cutting contest, so our CEO will do your job for a day." The CEO sits in Carol's cubicle and says, "I feel like a failure.. darkness fills my days... I dream of the grave." The CEO cries, "I'll never be loved again!!" The Boss says, "This is less motivating than I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

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Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #big business, #executives, #profits down, #increased compensation, #incentive, #feel underpaid

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CEO: Profits are way down, but don't worry your little heads about it. The board increased my annual compensation to $60 million. Now I finally have an incentive to do a good job! Un-oh. I'd better hurry because I'm already starting to feel underpaid again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer

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Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #two ceos, #top job, #syockholders, #average employees slaary

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"After the merger, we'll have two CEOs sharing the top job." "A spokesperson explained 'If our stockholders don't mind paying one CEO 450 times the average employee's salary..." "...They shouldn't mind doing it twice.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #go fatser, #set tone, #control, #opinions are treason, #name calling, #intimidation, #corporations, #little guy, #meeting, #tone of intimidation, #condescending, #business

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CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

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CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #executives, #poor persons, #ceo morality test, #new tech, #fracking, #grinding porr people, #high pressure, #shale

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Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #weapons, #constructive criticsim, #humble intern, #eye lasers, #stings, #surprise, #ceo, #evil

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Asok: Would you accept some constructive criticism from a humble intern? CEO: Activating eye lasers! Asok: It stings for a few minutes, and then you surprise yourself with what you can get used to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #new strategy, #nimble, #meeting, #business plan, #business

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CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?