Keep Job Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Keep Job

View 31 - 40 results for keep job comic strips. Discover the best "Keep Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #down load apps, #new phone, #primary job, #formulas in excel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you show me how to download apps on my new phone? Dilbert: I could... but that would take time away from my primary job of showing you how to do formulas in Excel. Apparently the eight times I already taught you weren't enough. Boss: I don't use Excel often enough to remember from one time to the next. Dilbert: How often do you expect to download apps? Boss: It's hard to say. I just know I want all of them. How many are there? Dilbert: Four.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #suspicion, #job interview, #brand online, #blog, #tweets, #facebook, #credit, #criminal record, #transcripts, #refrences, #external stuff, #attitude, #yrine test, #dna test, #tanning bed, #mri, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #interviews, #tools for job, #resource, #agree to disagree, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Question four: do you have the tools to do your job? Wally: That depends. Do you consider yourself a tool? Boss: I'm a resource. Wally: Let's agree to disagree.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #lobbying, #lobbiest, #bribers, #holiday, #birthdays, #lucrative job, #tax breaks, #company tax breaks, #interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #boss, #telling how to do job, #priorities, #reports, #email, #suggestions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop telling Tina how to do her job. You're not her boss. Dilbert: I was just helping out because her boss has his priorities all backward. Boss: She reports to me. Dilbert: I'll email your boss some suggestions for fixing you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #hair, #job, #growth, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I got a job." Dogbert jumps onto the hassock and says, "I'm the new spokesperson for 'Harry's Hair Growth Solution.'" Dogbert asks, "Mind if I borrow your razor for the 'Before' pictures?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #job, #morning, #amnesia, #waking up, #screaming

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."