Last Three Times Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for last three times comic strips. Discover the best "Last Three Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #sounds, #less, #million, #times, #french, #short, #tempered, #mockingly

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Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #conquer, #elbonia, #ten, #minutes, #thing, #Dogbert, #despotic, #congenial, #pbs, #last, #night, #missile, #boring, #smart

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Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #elves, #elf, #magic, #elf magic, #conquer, #world, #pick, #Card, #serious, #clubs, #forty three of clubs

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An elf says to three other elves, "I say we elves have been pushed around too long!" The elf says, "Let's use our elf magic to conquer the world!!" Another elf replies, "Yeah! Elf magic!" An elf holds a deck of playing cards and says to Dogbert, "C'mon, pick a card - any card!! And this time be serious!!" Dogbert says, "I'll take the forty-three of clubs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #assignment, #last, #ridiculous, #spontaneously, #channeling, #spirit, #bozo

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Uh . . . Dilbert, about that assignment I gave you last month . . ." The Boss continues, "Remember how you thought it was a silly and ridiculous assignment?" Dilbert says, "Yeah?" The Boss replies, "Well, it turns out that I've been spontaneously channeling the spirit of Bozo the Clown." The Boss is suddenly wearing a clown nose and costume.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #choke, #death, #end, #date, #early, #work, #trick, #jillion, #times

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman grabs her throat and says, "Mphf! Aack! Cough! Hmp! Gurgle!" As the woman slumps onto the table, Dilbert says, "If you're pretending to choke to death to end our date early, it won't work." The woman sits up and crosses her arms. Dilbert says, "Like I haven't seen that trick a jillion times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #snow, #mountain, #jet, #captain, #bob, #fly, #luck, #survive, #eat, #cannibal, #last

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Dilbert, Dogbert and several other passengers stand in waist-deep snow. Dilbert says, "We're alive . . . We must have been thrown clear when the jet hit the mountain." The airplane captain says to Dilbert, "I'm Captain Bob. Sorry about the crash. What are the odds I'd hit this same mountain on every flight?" As Bob walks away Dilbert says, "We're in luck. Captain Bob knows how to survive these situations." Bob thinks, "Nice folks. I'll eat them last."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #laptop, #computers, #outdated, #fingernail, #models, #glue, #permanently, #fingers

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A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projects floundering, #bold strategy, #reorganize, #department, #last month, #bold

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The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top priority, #last month, #dated

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The Boss: Take care of this immediately. It's your top priority. Dilbert: Top Priority?? This is dated last month, Its been on your desk for weeks and now its your top priority?? The Boss: I said its your top priority. I still don't care about it, Dilbert: well...okay the,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dimly lit cucbicle, #carpal tunnel, #crippled, #last job, #coal miner, #gas explosion, #new cubcile, #canary

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"I guess it's time to go back to my dimly lit cubicle and see if my carpal tunnel has crippled me yet." "This is a lot like my last job as a coal miner, but without the threat of a gas explosion." "I'm moving you to a new cubicle over by Wally." "Better get a canary."