Leave Employee Comic Strips - Page 4

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743 Results for Leave Employee

View 31 - 40 results for leave employee comic strips. Discover the best "Leave Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #salary, #employee, #office

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An employee stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, ". . . Our pay is too low, and there's no clear leadership. And we want parking spaces." Dogbert presses a level and the man falls through a trap door in the floor. There is a flushing noise. Dogbert thinks, "All things considered, I think I enjoy them more when they're disgruntled."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #assurance, #value, #average employee, #less of us, #more work, #downsizing, #layoffs, #warning, #fewer employees

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The Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Dilbert: "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" The Boss: "Except for the 'us' part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck

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Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #behead, #corporate head hunter, #employee, #new employees, #staffing problem, #you'd be flexible, #go postal, #post office employee

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"We've never needed a corporate headhunter before, but now it's the only way to solve our staffing problem." "Are you aware that headhunters find new employees? We don't behead the ones you already have." "I don't suppose you'd be flexible..." "I could find a disgruntled ex-post office employee for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #employee turnover, #low rates, #metrics, #turnover rate, #corporate health

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DOGBERT THE CONSULTANT Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "A good way to judge corporate health is to look at your employee turnover rate." The Boss says, "Our turnover rate is very low. We only hire people who aren't skilled enough to work anyplace else." Dogbert says, "Maybe metrics aren't the way to go here." The Boss says, "No metric has beaten me yet!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #effects pay, #employee survey, #grumpiest employee, #morale, #touchy feely stuff

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The Boss says to an employee, "The employee surveys indicate some dissatisfaction in my group. That affects my pay." The Boss continues as the man frowns, "You're my grumpiest employee, so I'm going to fire you to bring up my average score for morale." The Boss walks away thinking, "I think I'm getting better at all the touchy-feely stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #team leader, #raise, #no extra money, #responsibility, #best epople, #leave better companies, #recognize them

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #increase budget, #training, #leave the company, #more money, #competitor, #down side

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. Wally demands, "You've got to increase the budget for training!" The Boss responds, "If I train you, then wouldn't you just leave the company to make more money working for our competitor?" Wally says, "I guess there is a downside." The Boss asks, "And the downside would be . . . ?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #temporary employee, #blink and gone, #balance of power, #shifted

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Ratbert sits in a chair facing a desk. Ratbert says, "I submit myself as a candidate for the position of 'temporary employee.'" Ratbert continues, "I'm VERY temporary. First I'll be in one place and then you blink and I'm gone! Blink, gone, blink, gone, blink, gone . . ." The person behind the desk says, "Stop saying 'Blink, gone.' It's making me nuts." Ratbert replies, "It appears that the balance of power has shifted my way."