Legal Advice Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dilbert stands in front of Carol's desk. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "You expect me to sign this? The legalese is totally incomprehensible." Carol hands Dilbert a pen. Carol says, "You will." Dilbert is mad. Dilbert says, "Do you expect me to give up legal rights just because it's too hard to figure out what any of it means?" Carol says, "Yes." Carol sys, "And initial the "involuntary boilogical testing" box. Dilbert looks annoyed. Dilbert signs and says, "Okay, okay!"
Dilbert stands with his arms crossed by Catbert's desk. Catbert holds a piece of paper. Catbert says, "Don't complain to me. You signed the form giving us permission to alter your DNA" Dilbert throws his hands up in frustration. Dilbert says, "No one reads legal documents before signing them. It makes you look stupid." Catbert looks at Dilbert's horn. Catbert says, "You have a point." Dilbert says, "That is SO not funny."
Dogbert is hosting a radio talkshow. He sits at the microphone. He says, "You're on the radio with Dogbert's "Bad Advice Show." How may I hurt you?" Women on the phone asks, "My boss asked me for a date. We're both married. What should I do?" Dogbert says, "Divorce your husband. He sounds like a loser to me." Women says, "Yes, yes it all makes sense when you explain it that way." Dogbert says, "Then mail a dead woodchuck to your boss with a note that says...." Dogbert is heard over the phone. Dogbert says, "Unlike this woodchuck my love for you will never die." Women says, "Thanks. I love your show." Dogbert says, "Moving on to household tips, did you know that black paint is an excellent stain remover?" Dilbert walks in with a huge black stain on his shirt. Dilbert says, "Can we talk?" Dogbert says, "And those are just SOME of the benefits of an all-cheese diet."
Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."
Dogbert is sitting at his computer and Dilbert stands behind him. Dogbert says: "I'm creating a web site of free medical advice." Dogbert's hears stand up as he screams: "Get some exercise, you lazy hog!!" Dilbert asks Dogbert: "Is that it?" Dogbert answers: "Nothing to do now but wait for the IPO."
Wally says to Alice while pouring himself a cup of coffee, "I'm going to follow Tom Peters' advice and become my own brand." Alice replies, "The phrase you're least likely to hear is, 'I gotta get me some of that." Wally walks away thinking, "Day one: Not so good."
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."
Dilbert asks Catbert, "Do you have any advice for my job interview?" Catbert says to Dilbert, "Try juggling the items on his desk. It will make you seem confident." The interviewer has been knocked senseless in his desk chair. Dilbert, holding various desk items in his hands, says, "Sorry."
Asok is sitting at his desk, noticeably still in pain. The Boss says, "The cure for carpal tunnel is to eat six bananas a day." The Boss shakes his hand and continues, "That's what I do and I have the hands of a teenager." Asok turns around and replies, "Do you have any data to support your medical advice?" The Boss responds, "Does a huge pimple count?"
Dilbert is handing his trash to The Garbageman. Dilbert says, "I'm dating a beautiful woman. Do you have any advice?" The Garbageman stuffs the trash into the can and responds, "A beautiful woman is like a heap of fresh garbag: exciting, mysterious, and delightful." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any advice that doesn't compare my girlfriend to garbage?" The Garbageman replies, "How about compost?"