Look Expose Reports Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

752 Results for Look Expose Reports

View 31 - 40 results for look expose reports comic strips. Discover the best "Look Expose Reports" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good look at file, #murder confession, #the file, #sign papers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol approaches the Boss and says, "Now sign this and this and this." The Boss replies, "This is a murder confession." Carol answers, "It's for the file." The Boss thinks to himself, "Someday I'm going to take a good look at that file."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #look like losers, #give numbers, #internal subterfuge, #eighty percent, #vp

View Transcript

Transcript

There are several papers on a table. The Boss says to Dilbert, "We can't show these numbers to our VP. They make us look like losers." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Find something we're doing well and give him those numbers instead." Dilbert, wearing dark glasses and a false moustache, looks on as the VP reads the report and says, "Wow! Our internal subterfuge is up eighty percent!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #out of engineer, #more adminstrative, #write reports, #gradually shift, #writing reports, #vegetative

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to make a gradual shift out of engineering and into something more administrative." Wally continues, "For example, I could write reports that tell other people how to do their jobs better." Wally concludes, "Then I could gradually shift out of writing reports and into something more vegetative."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #always a troll, #came to accounting, #had a look, #hair fell out, #horns and tail, #stopped gym, #finance troll, #accounting troll

View Transcript

Transcript

The troll sits at its computer. Dilbert asks, "Were you always a troll?" The troll responds, "No, this happened when I came to accounting." The troll continues, "First my hair fell out. Then I stopped going to the gym." Dilbert responds, "You have horns and a tail." The Troll replies, "When I realized I had a look going, I just went for it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analyzed, #corporate culture, #findings, #bunch unmotivated, #weasels, #knapsack

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert reports to The Boss, "I've analyzed your corporate culture and put my findings in this report." The Boss reads the report aloud, "The employees are a bunch of unmotivated weasels. I look good in this hat." Dogbert says, "I would have mentioned my knapsack but it's only a summary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #early death, #over working, #grim reaper, #love job, #unlike you, #don't look grim

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss and Wally, "I'm well on my way to an early death from overworking." Dilbert continues, "I expect a visit from the grim reaper any day now." Dilbert is approached by the grim reaper. Dilbert says, "You don't look grim." The grim reaper responds, "Unlike you, I love my job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee rehab, #no tea, #look in bag, #no soda, #no luaggage, #carry yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Coffee Rehab. A nurse comes towards Wally and says, "No soda, no tea, no chocolate." Wally is clenching his teeth and sweating. The nurse continues, "You're allowed one piece of luggage and you have to carry it yourself." Wally runs past the nurse holding a huge coffee mug-shaped suitcase. The nurse says, "I might want to take a look inside that bag."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus on execution, #excuse poepl, #look like accident, #two hours long, #meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss' boss shakes his finger at The Boss and says, "You've got to focus on execution!" The Boss is puzzled. The Boss says to Catbert, "I think he wants me to execute people." Catbert responds, "Make it look like an accident." The Boss announces at a meeting, "From now on, my staff meetings will be two hours long." Alice and Wally sob.