Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 4
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469 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 31 - 40 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 19,
2012
Tags absent mindedness, cruelty, managers & supervisors, entrpenuer, bullying, lying, manipulation, verbal abuse, huge jerk, biograophy, business
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday August 21,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, tailored style, each employee, pool cue, leadership is guessing, business
Transcript
Boss: A good manager tailors his leadership style to fit each employee. In your case, I think the best approach involves poling you with a sharpened pool cue. To be perfectly honest, a big part of leadership is guessing.
Wednesday August 29,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, prosperity, intuition, market research, success rate, binary choices, tiny manager, made of copper, business
Transcript
Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!
Thursday August 30,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, low priority tasks, rational being, reward, business
Transcript
Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?
Saturday September 01,
2012
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, bad job, new assignment, poor job, matching skills, business
Transcript
Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?
Tuesday September 04,
2012
Tags computer software, managers & supervisors, budget, work monitoring software, calendar, year 2040, square boxes, business
Transcript
Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.
Monday September 17,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, leadership, agenda, business
Transcript
Boss: I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to manage you. It must have been a nightmare for all of you to be without my leadership for so long. Alice: This might be a good tome to lead us to the next topic on the agenda.
Sunday August 26,
2012
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, money, raise, higher pay, income higher, boss salary, intuition, business
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you the raise you deserve because it would make your pay higher than mine. Alice: I don't see how that's a problem. Boss: Let me explain it to you this way, Alice. If you make more money than I do your compensation would be greater than mine. Alice: That's not a reason, you ignorant baboon! Boss: Okay, how about... I must be smarter than you because my income is higher. Alice: Gaaa!!! Boss: When I don't have reasons for things, is that called intuition or just common sense?
Saturday October 27,
2012
Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, performance review, perfromance review, 9 months late, business
Transcript
Boss: I finished your performance review. Alice: Terrific. It's nine months late and all you did was sign what I wrote. Boss: I think I also read it, but I'm not 100% positive.
Monday October 29,
2012
Tags director of change, employees, management, managers & supervisors, strategies, business
Transcript
Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.


