Medical Research Comic Strips - Page 4
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243 Results for Medical Research
View 31 - 40 results for medical research comic strips. Discover the best "Medical Research" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 26,
1998
Tags #research dept, #study, #value of research, #just lie, #no research, #industry salaries, #two oclock, #quitting time, #role model
Transcript
Alice sits next to The Boss and a mandattan place.. The Boss points out, "Our special guest is Tod, from our researced paper." Tod says, "We recently did a study to access the value of our previous research." Tod hands out papers and says, "Sadly, all of our past work was either ignoed or totally misintrepreted by idiots.." Tod says, ".. such as yoursleves." Tod says, "So from now on, rather that do research we''ll just lie. Tod says, "Play along and and we'll make sure the 'industry salaries' study goes your way." Tod says, "Well, it's two o'clock, and that's quitting time in the research department." Wally tells Dilbert, "" You're not my role mdoel anymore!"
Wednesday December 22,
1999
Tags #market research data, #mouse, #footsteps
Transcript
Wally is sitting at his computer and the boss who is sitting behind him says: "Wally, don't do anything until we get the market research data." The boss walks away. Wally thinks: "No longer must I put my hand on the mouse when I hear footsteps. Yes!!"
Thursday December 23,
1999
Tags #free medical advice, #some exercose, #lazy hog, #wait for ipo
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting at his computer and Dilbert stands behind him. Dogbert says: "I'm creating a web site of free medical advice." Dogbert's hears stand up as he screams: "Get some exercise, you lazy hog!!" Dilbert asks Dogbert: "Is that it?" Dogbert answers: "Nothing to do now but wait for the IPO."
Wednesday March 08,
2000
Tags #cancel others, #crazy ideas, #one you of ten, #research projects, #research and development
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss: "One out of ten research and development projects will succeed." He continues: "I recommend cancelling the other nine." Sitting at lunch with his co-workers, Wally says: "I wonder where he gets all these crazy ideas."
Wednesday December 06,
2000
Tags #hole in head, #jurors, #jury box, #jury selction, #medical condition, #questioning, #serving, #judge, #legal
Transcript
JURY SELECTION JUDGE: JUROR eight, do you have any medical problems that would prevent you from serving? NO, I need jury duty. Judge: Would iy be fair to say you odnt know what you need? MAN HOLE IN HEAD: Why does everyone ask me that>
Saturday August 11,
2001
Tags #cure for carpel tunnel, #eat six bananas, #hands of teenager, #data, #medical advice, #huge pimple
Transcript
Asok is sitting at his desk, noticeably still in pain. The Boss says, "The cure for carpal tunnel is to eat six bananas a day." The Boss shakes his hand and continues, "That's what I do and I have the hands of a teenager." Asok turns around and replies, "Do you have any data to support your medical advice?" The Boss responds, "Does a huge pimple count?"
Thursday March 14,
2002
Tags #medical mel, #needle, #four feet long, #pencil, #javelin champion, #bob short, #shiskabob
Transcript
Headline: Medical Mel. Dilbert hears Mel on the phone saying, "...the needle was four feet long and thick as a pencil." Mel's voice continues, "I tried to run but the doctor had been an Olympic javelin champion." Mel's voice continues, "My new nickname at the hospital is Bob - short for Shishkabob." Dilbert covers his ears.
Friday May 09,
2003
Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science
Transcript
The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."
Monday April 12,
2004
Tags #tainted research, #skinny people, #bright light, #association of donught makers, #wheel chair, #man in bandages
Transcript
"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research." "The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven." "Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?" "No, why?"
Tuesday April 13,
2004
Tags #poorly designed product, #ever been killed, #tainted research
Transcript
"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."