Monkey On Crack Comic Strips - Page 4
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92 Results for Monkey On Crack
View 31 - 40 results for monkey on crack comic strips. Discover the best "Monkey On Crack" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 18,
2002
Tags #low morale, #monkey at zoo, #fling shit, #survey, #request for survey
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, put together a survey to find out why morale is so low." Carol responds, "Survey?!! You could ask any monkey at the zoo what the problem is." The Boss is talking to a monkey through zoo bars. The Boss says, "Do NOT fling that. I repeat..."
Monday July 01,
2002
Tags #procurement, #special cable, #rope, #exclusive contract, #rope distributer, #monkey, #cheaper, #desk, #animals
Transcript
Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."
Tuesday July 02,
2002
Tags #exclusive cable contarct, #monkey, #monkeys version, #procurement manager, #rope as electric, #rope vendor, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "My technology test was a huge failure because I had to use a rope as my electronic cable." Dilbert continues, "Our procurement manager is a monkey who signed an exclusive cable contract with a rope vendor." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'd rather not take sides until I hear the monkey's version."
Monday July 08,
2002
Tags #african vacation, #natures wonders, #shoot, #window of suv, #monkey brains, #flared nostrils
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'll be taking my vacation in Africa so I can enjoy nature's wonders." The Boss continues, "And shoot as much of it as possible from the window of an SUV." The Boss asks Wally, "Have you ever seen monkey brains?" Wally responds, "Once, when you flared your nostrils."
Tuesday June 24,
2003
Tags #announce record losses, #graphics department, #inebriated simians, #ratbert, #drawing, #monkey, #animals
Transcript
The Boss says to Dogbert, "We need to announce our record losses in a way that doesn't make management look like..." Dogbert finishes The Boss' sentence, "Inebriated simian miscreants?" The Boss replies, "Right." Headline: Graphics Department. Ratbert holds up a drawing of a monkey. Dogbert responds, "They want to go in a whole other direction."
Thursday March 04,
2004
Tags #sexism, #witch coven, #new manager, #face growl, #new dress code, #winged monkey, #called tough
Transcript
Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."
Wednesday February 06,
2008
Tags #monkey trainer, #freelancer, #career choices, #banana, #cubicle
Transcript
The Boss: Is this 'take your daughter to work day' again? Girl: No, I'm a free-lancer. I've narrowed my career choices to prison guard or monkey trainer. The boss: I don't see how coming here will help. Girl: I'll give you a banana if you show me your cubicles.
Tuesday March 04,
2008
Tags #code monkey, #dreams, #evil director, #less work, #software simian, #architect, #engineering
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"
Tuesday June 17,
2008
Tags #gossip, #spreading rumors, #monkey could do, #corporate newsletter, #trick question
Transcript
Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"
Wednesday December 31,
2008
Tags #anger, #firing, #frustration, #rudeness, #profits falling, #worthless sack of monkey spit, #birds ate brain, #regurgitate pellets
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."