Morale Is Low Comic Strips - Page 4

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234 Results for Morale Is Low

View 31 - 40 results for morale is low comic strips. Discover the best "Morale Is Low" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Cartoon, #cartoon on back, #hurts morale, #joke, #management decions, #take it down, #improvement

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The Boss: This cartoon seems to be saying that management decisions are a joke. Cartoons are not allowed on cubicles. It hurst morale, I don't want to see this when I return. The Boss: Ive noticed a real improvement in morale since you removed the cartoon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #employee turnover, #low rates, #metrics, #turnover rate, #corporate health

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DOGBERT THE CONSULTANT Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "A good way to judge corporate health is to look at your employee turnover rate." The Boss says, "Our turnover rate is very low. We only hire people who aren't skilled enough to work anyplace else." Dogbert says, "Maybe metrics aren't the way to go here." The Boss says, "No metric has beaten me yet!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #effects pay, #employee survey, #grumpiest employee, #morale, #touchy feely stuff

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The Boss says to an employee, "The employee surveys indicate some dissatisfaction in my group. That affects my pay." The Boss continues as the man frowns, "You're my grumpiest employee, so I'm going to fire you to bring up my average score for morale." The Boss walks away thinking, "I think I'm getting better at all the touchy-feely stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #fourth day, #telecommuting, #clothes useless, #struck by question, #monkeys, #beards, #discuss issue, #attendance low, #around table, #introduce

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Dilbert sits at his desk at home. He is naked. He types in his daily log, "On my forth day of telecommuting I realize that clothes are totally unnecessary." Dilbert strokes his unshaven face and thinks, "Hey!" The log reads, "Suddenly I am struck by a question: why don't monkeys grow beards?" The log reads, "I call a meeting to discuss the issue but attendance is low." Dilbert sits at a conference table with Ratbert. Dilbert reads from a document, "Issue one: monkey beards." Ratbert says, "Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #performance this year, #tasks, #tiny raise, #boss asigned, #bonus, #keeping salaries low, #workplace violence

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The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert sits across from him. The Boss tells Dilbert, "Your performance this year was good, but you worked on tasks that aren't important. Therefore you get a tiny raise." Dilbert looks angry as he replies, "I worked on the tasks YOU assigned. What's that say about YOUR performance?" The Boss replies, "It's excellent. I get a bonus for keeping salaries low." Dilbert asks, "Have you seen any literature on workplace violence?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bob procurement, #duties are simple, #assume employees lie, #multimedia laptop, #demo labeler, #low cost substitutes, #savings, #accomplishments

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His boss in procurement explains to Bob the Dinosaur, "Your duties are simple. People will come to you and ask for things." Bob's boss continues, "Assume all employees are lying, treasure-hunting thieves. Give them low-cost substitutes and claim the savings on your accomplishments." An employee says to Bob, "I asked for a multimedia laptop PC. This is a 'Dymo' labeler." Bob responds, "Nice try, Paul, if that's your real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #low cost paintings, #walls, #in a frame, #how much paintings, #corporate art source, #dogbert art dealer

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Dogbert and the Boss sit at a table looking at a catalog. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Corporate Art Source' will provide low-cost paintings for your walls." Dogbert continues, "Our motto is 'if it's in a frame it will look like art to you.'" The Boss asks, "How much do the paintings cost?" Dogbert replies, "Six dollars a pound."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #wall art, #low bid, #assistant scourcing, #earth, #low cost art

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Dilbert watches Dogbert and Bob the Dinosaur hanging paintings on the office wall. He asks Dogbert, "How did you get the contract to supply our company with wall art?" Dogbert answers, "Low bid." Dogbert says, "As we speak, my assistant is scouring the earth in search of low-cost art." Ratbert stands outside the "School-O-Art" with a bag of money. As an art student wearing a beret and painter's smock is thrown out of the school with his painting, Ratbert says, "I'll take it!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #inexplicable, #low cost, #system, #underpowered, #replace, #another vendors, #upgrade fees, #big a fool, #lease option

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The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "It's inexplicable, but the low-cost system I sold you seems to be woefully under-powered." Dogbert continues, "You could replace it with another vendor's system, thus showing everybody you make a mistake. Or you can pay my outrageous upgrade fees." The Boss asks, "How big a fool do you think I am?" Dogbert replies, "I won't know until I see if you go for the lease option."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #carol, #low-wall, #clerical, #style, #cubicle, #league, #degree, #copier, #secreatary, #crossbow

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Carol: I sit innocently in my low-wall clerical style cubicle. Man: One copy, no staple. Carol: Men with Ivy-league degrees walk past the copier and ask me to make copies. I am a secretary with a crossbow.