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View 31 - 40 results for more email comic strips. Discover the best "More Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #more green, #ac units, #elastic bands, #hats covered eyes, #don't shoot messenger, #elbonian, #engineering

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Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money

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Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

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I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #email servers, #inbox, #vowels only, #complain, #loudest, #complain to boss

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Dilbert: Ever since you moved our email servers to Transylbonia, my inbox has nothing but vowels. I.T. person: We I.T. people only respond to whoever complains loudest. You should complain to your bosss. Dilbert: I will! Boss' Computer: A ui aoe uie ou eai!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype

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Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe lounge, #more vocal, #accomplishments, #bragging, #perfect substotute, #wind, #seat cushion

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Dilbert: I think I need to be more vocal about my accomplishments. Wally: I've found that bragging is a perfect substitute for accomplishing stuff. Dilbert: I plan to do both. Wally: Wow. You are the wind beneath my seat cushion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #telling how to do job, #priorities, #reports, #email, #suggestions

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Boss: Stop telling Tina how to do her job. You're not her boss. Dilbert: I was just helping out because her boss has his priorities all backward. Boss: She reports to me. Dilbert: I'll email your boss some suggestions for fixing you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #extra hetero, #more attractive, #relationships, #smiling

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Dilbert: Studies show that smiling makes you more attractive. Wally: Is it working. Dilbert: I just became extra hetero.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resources vailable, #common employees, #more money, #project, #all gone, #hypocrite boss, #no time

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The Boss: "Although I'm technically the 'Boss' I believe it's my job to make resources available to you, the common employees." Dilbert: "I need more money for my project." The Boss: "Sorry, all gone." Dilbert: "Maybe I'll get on your calendar so we can discuss it." The Boss: I've got twenty minutes next summer."