Most Qualified Applicant Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

279 Results for Most Qualified Applicant

View 31 - 40 results for most qualified applicant comic strips. Discover the best "Most Qualified Applicant" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1999's comic on:

Tags #resume, #headhuneter, #evaluate, #engineer skills, #qualified, #loyalty

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "I just got this resume from a headhunter." The boss says, "Evaluate her engineering skills and let me know if I should interview her." Dilbert approaches Alice, looks at the resume and says, "Well, Alice, You're almost qualified to work here, but I'm concerned about your loyalty."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1999's comic on:

Tags #slipping again, #most severe, #disciplinary action, #watch eat, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Wally. your performance is slipping again." The boss says, "That calls for my most severe disciplinary action." The boss begins to eat a sandwich. Wally looks horribly shocked, his hair stand on end. Wally shakes. Asok says, "He made you watch him eat?" Dilber raises his fist and says, "Monster!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1999's comic on:

Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2000's comic on:

Tags #kicking me, #least valuables, #manager, #most valuable emplyees, #turnover, #increase turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2000's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #most evil way, #database, #customer information, #sell mailing list, #spam, #balckmail, #data bse, #clumping

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "What's the most evil way to use our database of customer information? The Boss says, "Should we sell our mailing lists, spam without mercy, or just blackmail customers?" Catbert says, "Um... Do you have me in that database?" The Boss says, "We know all about your clumping problems."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2001's comic on:

Tags #wally in jail, #try door, #guards dont lock, #lifers, #most embarrassed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Dogbert and asks, "Wally's in jail. Can you help get him out?" Dogbert answers, "Tell him to try the door. The guards only pretend to lock them." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit in the break room eating lunch. Wally says, "But I'd have to say it was the lifers who were the most embarassed."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2002's comic on:

Tags #job as waiter, #job as engineer, #qualified, #manager, #slapping drunk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take a job as a waiter until I can get a job as an engineer." Dogbert replies, "You're not qualified to wait on tables." Dilbert responds, "How hard could it be?" A waiter is juggling dishes unsteadily. He says to Dilbert, "The manager is over there slapping a drunk."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2002's comic on:

Tags #clear strategy, #most profit, #do more, #less clear, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2003's comic on:

Tags #body double, #despots, #most successful, #double, #take hit, #personal dress code, #dress intern

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2003's comic on:

Tags #corner cubicle, #most pretigious, #entre row, #control window, #harness sun, #no screen glare

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "The corner cubicle opened up. I plan to make it mine." Alice chuckles and says continues, "That's right: I'll be sitting in the most prestigious cubicle in the entire row! Fear me!" Alice laughs harder and adds, "Buwaha! From there I will control the window shades and harness the sun!" Dilbert responds, "Please.. no screen glare."