Myron Not Moron Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

64 Results for Myron Not Moron

View 31 - 40 results for myron not moron comic strips. Discover the best "Myron Not Moron" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #honesty, #criticize bahavior, #monkey on crack, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Criticize the behavior, not the person. The email you sent to everyone looks as if it had been written by a monkey on crack. Just to be clear, you are terrific, but everything you do is exactly what a moron would do.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #deadlines, #originality, #partnership, #project milestones, #toxic moron, #incapable, #original thought, #same

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You two have failed to meet your project milestones. Dilbert: That's because you paired me with a toxic moron who is incapable of having an original thought. Coworker: That happened to me, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguing, #email, #expectations, #logic, #sleep, #winning, #work ethic, #promptly respond, #employees, #necessary, #brain function, #succumbs to leadership, #dysfunctional moron, #confsuion, #win converstions, #ceo, #health, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.

Seventeen Pieces Of Evidence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Seventeen Pieces Of Evidence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #moron, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we have seventeen pieces of evidence that you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: no, you have seventeen coincidences and a bad case of confirmation bias. dilbert: how about i prove you're a moron and see how far that gets us?

Counting Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Counting Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.

Hiring Morons And Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Morons And Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.

Ted Talks Make You Smarter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Make You Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #moron, #new hire, #smart, #ted talk, #binge-watch

View Transcript

Transcript

new hire: i used to be a moron, but then i binge-watched seventeen ted talks on youtube. now i'm the smartest person in the room. wally: should we do something about this? dilbert: i don't know. i've only watched six ted talks.

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #social media, #technology, #instagram, #ted talks, #smart, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calendars, #desk, #meails, #meetings, #padtes, #schdeules, #secretary, #coordinates

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #insults, #best friend, #verbal, #abuse, #order, #cement, #friendship, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: Dogbert insults you all the time. And you treat him like your best friend. Obviously, I need to give you some verbal abuse in order to cement our bond of love and friendship. Dilbert: You're an idiot.