Named In Rats Honor Comic Strips - Page 4
114 Results for Named In Rats Honor
View 31 - 40 results for named in rats honor comic strips. Discover the best "Named In Rats Honor" comics from Dilbert.com.
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Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.
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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.
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Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."
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CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!
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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I decided to recognize you for your job performance." The Boss continues, "So I named one of my pencils after you." Dilbert says, "Gosh. Is that it right there?" The Boss replies, "No. That's my good pencil."
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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."
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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "I'll get us some sodas, Ratbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Feel free to gnaw on some high voltage wires, or whatever rats do, until I return." Dogbert returns with the cans of soda. Ratbert looks burned and smoke rises from his body. Ratbert says, "I don't know why we do that, but it sure works up a thirst."
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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He says to the audience, "The Dogbert method of eliminating guilt is quite simple." Dogbert continues, "All of your problems are caused by invisible people named Juan and Cindy." Dogbert continues, "All you have to do is find them and kill them."
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Dilbert's clothes are disheveled and he has lipstick marks all over his head. Dogbert asks, "What happened to you?" Dilbert replies, "Kitty Kelly was here to write your biography. She was all over me. I think she took my watch." Dogbert says, "I never trust anybody named 'Kitty.'" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I think I love her."