Named Ted Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
514 Results for Named Ted
View 31 - 40 results for named ted comic strips. Discover the best "Named Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 06,
2016
Ted Gets A New Phone
Tags #punishment, #reward, #gift, #samsung, #explosion, #battery
Transcript
Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.
Wednesday January 11,
2017
Coaching Ted
Tags #quitting, #fired, #annoy, #irritate, #drive away, #repel
Transcript
Boss: Ted, you have not performed up to my expectations, so I thought I would spend more time coaching you. I'll be with you every minute of the day. Ted: I quit! Catbert: I told you that would work. Boss: I didn't want to believe it.
Wednesday June 07,
2017
Ted Complains About Dilbert
Tags #budget, #money, #funding, #creativity, #embezzlement, #fraud
Transcript
Boss: Ted is complaining that you charged your expenses to his project. Dilbert: You told me to be creative because you forgot to fund my project. Boss: I wasn't expecting you to do that. Dilbert: That's what makes it creative. I looked it up.
Friday November 17,
2017
Ted Might Drop Dead
Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.
Thursday June 28,
2018
Ted Cross Trains
Tags #cross-training, #fired, #firing, #unemployment
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I need you to train the new hire how to do your job. Ted: Are you firing me? Boss: No, no. Just standard cross-training. Ted: Okay, I was worried for a second there. Boss: And start tidying up your cubicle.
Thursday August 09,
2018
History Doesn't Repeat
Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #plan, #solution, #thinking, #history, #new
Transcript
Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?
Friday August 10,
2018
Ted Tries To Sabotage
Tags #Dilbert, #carol, #ted, #sabotage, #project, #insecure
Transcript
Carol: Ted is trying to sabotage my project because he is so insecure. Dilbert: Is it possible you're imagining all of that and he is just doing his job? Carol: I was hoping you'd be supportive. Dilbert: I like to be on the winning side.
Saturday August 11,
2018
Speaking Truth To Power
Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power
Transcript
Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.
Monday September 03,
2018
Ted Dies From Chair
Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics
Transcript
Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.
Wednesday September 26,
2018
No Policy Against Lying
Tags #Catbert, #ted, #evil, #director, #human, #resources, #lying, #policy, #checked
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.