Never Mind Comic Strips - Page 4

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787 Results for Never Mind

View 31 - 40 results for never mind comic strips. Discover the best "Never Mind" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story

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Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #internet & world wide web, #seattle, #quick meeting, #stone age tribe, #skype, #never used, #why fly, #telecommunte, #airplane

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Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology

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Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #market, #bigger phone, #design, #market niche, #mind out of niche

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Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive

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Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #power, #brain, #mind

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Dogbert sits on his pillow staring at a ball. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I think the brain holds great powers waiting to be discovered." Dogbert continues, "It's almost as if I can make this ball levitate with pure mind power." Dogbert concentrates on the ball. Dogbert says, "Dang. Nothing." Behind Dogbert, Dilbert's chair rises into the air and dumps him onto the floor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1989's comic on:


Tags #money, #choke, #tie

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Admit it: you don't think I'm manly enough to take sky diving lessons, do you?" Dogbert replies, "That never crossed my mind." Dilbert says, "Good." Dogbert says, "However, it did occur to me that you could be the first sky diver to grab his necktie instead of the ripcord and choke himself to death on the way down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sweat, #bugs, #alone, #pen, #mind, #weird, #entire, #body, #shaved, #levitate

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The caption says, "When you're alone, you start thinking weird thoughts." Dilbert sits in his desk chair thinking, "Do bugs sweat?" The caption says, "The longer you're alone, the weirder it gets." Dilbert holds a pen in his palm and thinks, "I can levitate this pen with my mind." The caption says, "Don't stay alone too long." Dilbert sits in his house thinking, "How would it feel if I shaved my entire body."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #elbonians, #yergi, #scrolls, #dog, #fall, #sky, #never, #shave, #duck, #literal, #interpret

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In Elbonia, Dogbert lies face-down in the mud in front of his crashed hover-saucer. An Elbonian points at him and says, "Look, Yergi." The Elbonian picks Dogbert up and says, "The Holy Scrolls say a dog will fall from the sky." The other Elbonian asks, "They do?" The Elbonian carrying Dogbert replies, "Actually, they say 'never shave your duck,' but it's not literal. You have to interpret." The other Elbonian asks, "You mean I CAN shave my duck?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #security guard, #entire, #mind, #transport, #magic, #wonder, #creativity, #balsa wood, #tastes

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Dilbert approaches the security guard in the lobby and thinks, "It must be great to be a security guard." Dilbert walks by the security guard and thinks, "You have the entire day to let your mind transport you to magic realms of wonder and creativity." The security guard thinks, "I wonder what balsa wood tastes like."