No Kill Switch Comic Strips - Page 4

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208 Results for No Kill Switch

View 31 - 40 results for no kill switch comic strips. Discover the best "No Kill Switch" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer manufacturer, #threats, #to kill, #freeze up, #supportive police

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Dilmom opens her door to two policemen holding guns. Cop one says, "We have a report that you threatened to kill a computer manufacturer." Dilbert's mom pionts to the computer and says, "It freezes up five times a day. I have to unplug it to turn it off." The cops put down their guns. Cop 1 says, "Okay, we're with you. When's it going down?" Dilmom says, "Is tuesday good?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kill coworker, #employee manual, #award for cost saving, #evil hr director

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Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Alice sits in Catbert's office. Catbert says, "Alice, did you kill another co-worker?" Alice says, "Yes." Catbert looks in the Employee Manual and says, "But you did not discriminate, sexually harass, steal or take drugs. hmmmm.." Catbert says, "It looks like I have to give you an award for your cost saving idea." Alice says, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #turnaround is complete, #new job, #meat packing, #reduce overhead, #switch rooms, #fisnih afternoon

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The Turnaround CEO The devilish CEO says to Dilbert, "The turnaround is complete. I'm off to my new job." He continues, "It's a meat packing house that need to reduce overhead." Still talking, "I figure I can switch a few room signs and finish in an afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astrol projection, #try at meeting, #switch chairs

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Wally is holding up a book and walking with Dilbert and says: "I found a book about astral projection." Wally walks into a meeting room, followed by Dilbert, and says:"I'm gonna try this during our meeting." Wally is sitting at the meeting between two women grinding his teeth and hitting his fists against the table. One of the women says: "Does anyone want to switch chairs?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bait and switch, #assisting eddie, #never see again

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The boss, Wally, Dilbert and a new consultant are in a meeting. The boss says: "I hired the "Bait and Switch" consulting group because they're so smart." The consultant says to the boss while introducing him to a very messy looking man: "I'm assigning Eddie to work on your account. You will never see me again." Eddie sits in front of the boss and says: "So, what is it that you do here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretary works harder, #paid less, #many like you, #kill boss eventually, #fewer bosses

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Carol says to the Boss, "I work harder than you. Why do I get paid a fifth of what you make?" The Boss answers, "That's because there are many people like you but few people like me." Carol replies, "Maybe that's because the people like me eventually kill the people like you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #small alice, #kill people, #looking at them, #smiling, #man dies, #scary face

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A male co-worker says to Alice, "Smile, Alice. It won't hurt." As Alice glares at the co-worker, he grabs at his throat and cries, "Gaaak!!" At a table, eating lunch with Wally and Dilbert, Alice says, "I found out I can kill people by looking at them." Dilbert says, "I wondered why you were smiling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bait and switch, #first and third wives, #invited for drinks, #men vs women, #pretext, #tricked, #undertsand

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Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."