Only On Line Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Only On Line

View 31 - 40 results for only on line comic strips. Discover the best "Only On Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupid machine, #taken coins, #sunny disposition, #nothing, #dignity, #career, #drawing line, #soda machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a soda vending machine. He pushes a button and says angrily, "Stupid machine, you've taken my coins and with them my sunny disposition." The Boss walks up behind Dilbert who shouts, "There's nothing left to give!!! You've taken it all!!!" Wally, Alice and the Boss stand behind Dilbert watching him talk to the machine. Dilbert says, "Okay, you got my dignity and my career, too . . . But I am drawing the line HERE, Buster!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team building exercise, #mile from shore, #swim back, #only hope, #intelligent doplohin, #plaught, #tuna net

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks as he swims through the water, "Uh-oh . . . I'm a mile from shore and too exhausted to swim back." Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is that an intelligent dolphin will see my plight and rescue me." Dilbert sees a dolphin and thinks, "I'm in luck!" The dolphin says, "Two words: tuna . . . net."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #naked and exhausted, #fishing boat, #grabbed line, #held on, #secondd time, #threw back in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair wearing a bathrobe and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . There I was, naked and exhausted, miles from shore. Dolphins taunted me for hours." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly a deep sea sport fishing boat happened by. I grabbed the line and held on for my life." Dogbert replies, "Wow! That's lucky." Dilbert says, "That's what I thought . . . Until the second time they threw me back in." Dogbert replies, "I meant lucky for them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great news, #sell product line, #strongest comepetitor, #not viable, #amazingly stupid, #integrating line, #work here

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks up to Dilbert who is sitting at his computer. The Boss says, "Great news! Our strongest competitor offered to sell us their product line." Dilbert says, "Obviously they think their products are not viable. We'd have to be amazingly stupid..." The Boss interputs, "And you'll be in charge of integrating their product line with ours." Dilbert finishes, "...to work here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Men, #communicate, #only talks, #Sports, #computers, #job, #tv, #sex, #jokes, #greek mythology, #date, #likes, #dislikes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is on a date. His date says, "I like men who know how to communicate..." The date says, "But not a man you only talks about sports, or computers, or his job, or tv, or sex, or jokes, or his accomplishments..." Dilbert says, "That would leave... Greek mythology... and you." The date says, "No Greek stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monkeys, #pick stocks, #dogbert mutual fund, #better professional, #employee only monkeys, #high fees, #hiring the best, #paid commercial

View Transcript

Transcript

On television, Dogbert speaks in a paid commercial about his mutual fund. Dogbert says, "Studies have shown that monkeys can pick stocks better than most professionals." The Boss watches the tv commercial. Dogbert says, "That's why the Dogbert mutual fund employs only monkeys." Dogbert sits at a desk surrounded by monkeys. Dogbert says, "Yes, our fees are high, but I don't apologize for hiring the best."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #installing line, #phone line, #connected, #network, #yank wire, #central offcie

View Transcript

Transcript

Installing an ISDN line Telephone repairman is sitting next to the phone jack. Repairman says, "First we need to make sure your phone line is connected to our network." Repairmen hands Dilbert a cordless phone. Repairmen says, "I'll yank the wire while you listen for a "whump" sound at the central office." Central office full of pipes. Wires spill out of one of the pipes. Man holding one of the wires is listening to the phone which is off the hook. Over the phone Dilbert is heard. Dilbert says, "I heard something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insatlling isdn line, #digital phone, #different process, #slap fight, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

Installing and ISDN Line Phone repairman says, "These digital phone lines require a very different instillation process." Dilbert is seated on his couch. Repairman says, "You'll have to show me your SPIDS now." Dogbert sits on table. Dogberts asks, "What happened after the slap fight?" Dilbert's shirt is ripped, Dilbert's hair stand on end. Dilbert says, "Then it got awkward."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters degress, #top colleges, #new hires

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "From now on, we'll only hire people with masters degrees from the top colleges." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says,"I don't have a masters degree from a top college. I'm insulted by this new policy." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally with a line above his head. The Boss says, "And new hires must be this tall to work here." Wally yells, "HEY!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #line of probablity, #illusion of gravity, #consciousness

View Transcript

Transcript

The garbage man sits on the ground talking to Ratbert. He syas, "...As your consciousness passes through each universe, you tend to follow a line of probability." Ratbert writes this down in a spiral notebook. He says, "Got it." The garbage man says, "And since it's more probable that matter is near other matter, you have the illusion of gravity as your consciousness moves toward the norm." He waves his arm in the air to demonstrate. The garbage man says, "Did you get all that, Ratbert?" Ratbert says, "Hey, I'm not stupid. Does this Norm guy have a last name?"