Oor Interpersonal Skills Comic Strips - Page 4
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Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "Bob was working for you when he died. The family wants you to say something at his funeral." The Boss replies, "I barely knew him. Maybe I can read something from his last performance review." The Boss is standing at a podium at the funeral. He says in his speech, "Bob needs to work on his communication skills.. and attendance."
Wally asks Asok, "Have you completed your skills inventory?" Asok responds, "I'm submitting it now." Wally says, "They use that information to transfer you to jobs you don't want." Wally continues, "You'll be okay as long as you didn't check any of the boxes in the hazmat section." Asok clenches his fists and says, "Stupid stupid stupid."
Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.
Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."
Man; "I was an engineer before I got into marketing, so I have a few suggestions for your network design." man: "Get rid of this 'Cisco' doohickey, whatever it is, and put it in a catapult made from local trees." Dilbert: "Has it been awhile?" Man: "At least I have good social skills now, you dipweed.
Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."
Dilbert: I desperately need to take this training. The Boss: we can't spare you. Send wally and have him tell you what he learned. Dilbert: Im awed by the sheer artistry of your mismanagement skills. The Boss: Thank you.
Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?
Wally: I don't know if I should focus on my strengths or strengthen my weaknesses. Or should I have a bias for action and not waste time sharpening any of my skills? Boss: Which path gets you to do actual work? Wally: I sense a coldness to your mentoring.
Boss: Did you finish the tasks we talked about in the last meeting? Dilbert: No, because your communication skills are so poor that I had no idea I was supposed to do a task. Wally: Did I have a task?