Other Board Members Comic Strips - Page 4
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748 Results for Other Board Members
View 31 - 40 results for other board members comic strips. Discover the best "Other Board Members" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 01,
1997
Tags #ignorant employees, #controls information, #board of directors, #appointed emperor, #escape key
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. A voice comes from the video conferencing camera on top of the monitor. "This is Dogbert the Network Systems Administrator, to all ignorant employees." Dogbert stands in front of a computer terminal. He says, "He who controls your information, controls you. I control your information." The Boss sits at his computer. Dogbert voice says, "The board of directors has appointed me Emperor for Life. Bring the pointy-haried boss to me." The Boss furiously presses a key on his keyboard and thinks, "Uh-oh! The 'escape' key isn't working!"
Saturday January 10,
1998
Tags #less technical terms, #ceo, #vp, #other technologies
Transcript
The Boss is critiquing something Dilbert wrote. he says, "You'll have to write this in less technical terms for me.." The Boss hands the repport back to Dilbert and says, "Make it even less technical for my boss... even less for our VP.. even less for our EVP.. much less for our CEO." Dilbert is giving a presentation and points to the overhead projection. "...And compared to other technologies, there's a big difference in the mouth area." The image is a simple frowning "smiley" face.
Thursday June 25,
1998
Tags #dogcart the ceo, #board of directors, #double pay, #bleat like sheep, #meeting, #baaa, #business
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."
Wednesday August 19,
1998
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #contract employee, #regular employee, #pay less, #motivated, #other than money, #stupidity
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his desk. A male employee with glasses stands. Catbert says, "You've been a good contract employee. We'd like to make you a regular employee." The employee says, "You mean you want to pay me less?" Catbert says, "We want you to be motivated by something other than money." The employee says, "Like...stupidity?"
Tuesday December 15,
1998
Tags #power of cute ears, #abuse banking industry, #Dogbert, #large withdrawl, #other peoples accounts
Transcript
Dogbert has his ears up and walks down the street. Dogbert thinks, "I will now use my power of cute ears to abuse the banking industry." Dogbert stands in front of a bank teller. Dogbert says, "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from other peoples' accounts." Dogbert drags a huge bag of money down the street. Dogbert thinks, "It was funny when I made her count it twice."
Sunday August 28,
1994
Tags #acute, #acute design flaw, #crucial, #feminist questions word, #other monitor, #poor choice, #sexist puns, #word means, #words, #apology
Transcript
Dilbert: The image ins fuzzy because the monitor has an acute design flaw. Tina: Acute? Thats an unusual choice of words. Would you have said "acute" to a mle co worker? I think not. Dilbert: It means crucial, thats all. Tina: I know what the word means! Do you think UI odnt see right through your sexist puns? Dilbert: No! I swear . it was just a poor choice of words!! Tina: Well...okay. I accept your apology this time. So whats wrong with the other monitor? dilbert: which?
Sunday October 06,
1996
Tags #special achievement award, #does something good, #don't think so, #giving themselves awards, #other departments, #lower standards, #standing in hallway, #tried door knob
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Nobody has nominated a co-worker for a special achievement award." The Boss continues, "Someone in this group must have done SOMETHING good this year." Wally says, "No . . . I don't think so." Dilbert says, "We'd remember something like that." The Boss says, "This looks bad. All the other departments are giving themselves awards." The Boss says, "We might have to lower our standards a bit." Alice says, "I've been proactive in that area." The Boss asks, "Why are we standing in the hallway?" Wally replies, "We think the room is locked." Dilbert says, "We don't have the key." The caption says, "Later that month." The Boss hands Alice an award and says, "This award goes to Alice for boldly trying the door knob." Alice says, "When I find out who nominated me . . ."
Thursday June 10,
1999
Tags #corporate lawyer, #court testimony, #other sdie, #hots witness, #fake court, #magazine, #whap
Transcript
Caption: "The Corporate Lawyer" A lawyer talks to Dilbert. The lawyer says, "Let's prepare for your court testimony. I'll pretend to be the other side." The lawyer says, "Liar! Why is your attorney so handsome?" and hits Dilbert in the face with a newspaper. Dilberts glasses are broken. Dilbert says, "They can hit me?" The lawyer says, "I don't see why not."
Friday June 09,
2000
Tags #two faced, #employee, #see one, #turn around, #other faces, #confusing, #frustrating, #pointing
Transcript
Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.
Friday January 26,
2001
Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals
Transcript
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."