Own Cubicle Comic Strips - Page 4
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Dilbert sneaks into a cubicle and thinks, "If the warehouse won't replace my broken chair, I'll just take one from somebody else." Dilbert reaches for a chair and thinks, "Technically, it's not stealing because the chair belongs to the company either way." Dilbert thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Phil the Ruler of Heck stands behind Dilbert and says into a walkie-talkie, "Hold the elevator . . . Over."
dilbert: I'm going to defy the cubicle gestapo and keep this plastic plant on my desk. Im a rebel...Im evil. My anti perspirant is breaking down! Dilbert: Sometimes a man has to take a stand. Dogbert: could he stand someplace else?
Zimbu: Your big mistake, evolution wise, was inventing computers that are easier to use if you have a tail. Its an ironic twist in the darwinian saga, You've guaranteed the extinction of your own species. Dilbert: Stop working while In talking to you Zimbu!! Zimbu: I can hear the evolutionary clock...tick tick...tick...tick...
"From now on, I prefer that you not refer to my genus by the derogatory word 'rat'." "The correct word is 'rattus'. It is the right of any group to define its own name. You must respect that." "Don't call me a dog anymore. From now on my correct name is 'smarter-than-a-stupid-rattus'."
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
"Profits are down again this quarter." "That's bad." "Starting tomorrow, you'll have to bring your own pencils to the office." "That's bad." "And you'll have to sell them out on the sidewalk." "That's bad."
Dilbert: "I am the king of my cubicle, the absolute ruler of this tiny realm." "And these are my loyal subjects: Mister Computer, Mister Stapler, and The Binder family." "Who spilled coffee?" "The barbarian is thwarted at the moat."
Wally stacks binders on his desk chair and tells Dilbert, ". . . And if I pile enough binders on my chair I'll have a window view!" Wally stands on his chair and looks over the cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "I've got to try that." The Boss hands Ted a binder and says, "Wow! I've never seen so much interest in our business plan!" Ted asks, "Can I have two?" Behind them, Dilbert, Wally and their co-workers stand on their chairs looking out of their cubicles.
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "I think I know what your problem is . . ." Dogbert continues, "Take all the parts and arrange them in neat piles. Now stand on your chair so you can see above your cubicle wall." A man stands on his chair holding the phone and looking over the cubicle walls. On the other end of the phone Dogbert continues, "Now shout 'Does anybody know how to read a manual?'"
The Boss stands next to an overhead projector. He points to the diagram on the screen and says, "We're taking away your individual cubicles. In the new system, you'll sign up for whatever cube is open that day." Sally and Wally are seated at a conference table. The Boss continues, "It's based on the model of public restrooms. But I call it 'Hoteling' because it increases my chances of getting tips." The Boss approaches Dilbert with a roll of note paper that looks like toilet paper and says, "Each cubicle will have a computer, a chair, and a roll of note paper . . . Take one and pass it around."