Pick Up Line Comic Strips - Page 4
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Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."
Dogbert stands with his back to a blackboard where the following is written: "Be Boring, $=Good, Remember to embezzle!" Dogbert says while holding the pointer in his hand: "This concludes your one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert points out to a printer with his pointer and says: "On your way out, pick up a diploma from the laser printer and fill in your name." Dogbert says: "Remember, your degree can be prestigious if none of you ever discuss what happened here."
Headline: Mouse training. The instructor asks the class, "Who wants to share an opinion on why mouse training is important?" Wally raises his hand enthusiastically and says, "Ooh-ooh! Pick me!" The instructor says, "Yes, Wally." Wally responds, "No one?"
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"
The Boss is meeting with an employee. The Boss says, "So Ted has been training you for the past six months." The Boss continues, "Based on your work, I'd say he's playing the world's longest practical joke on you." The employee is visibly angry. He approached Ted. Ted says, "Sometimes there's a fine line between criminally abusive behavior and fun."
Dilbert answers his work phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert." The voice on the other end says, "Hi, I'm a business reporter for the Wall Times Post Gazette." The reporter says, "I'm doing a story about how dumb.. I mean dynamic... your new product line is." Dilbert comes home and tells Dogbert, "Then he promised not to print the amusing nickname I have for our CEO." Dogbert responds, "You are so dynamic."
"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."
Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."