Played Golf Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

57 Results for Played Golf

View 31 - 40 results for played golf comic strips. Discover the best "Played Golf" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #shore safely, #try to distarct, #accomplice, #cruel joke, #trunks, #humming fish, #jaws theme song

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert treads water. A dolphin says to him, "Some dolphins in my situation would help you get to shore safely." The dolphin says, "Others might try to distract you while an accomplice played a cruel joke." Another dolphin swims up behind Dilbert. Dilbert yells, "Come back here with my trunks!!!" One dolphin holds Dilbert's swimsuit in his mouth. The other dolphin says, "Let's asks the humming fish to do the 'Jaws' theme song."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #airport, #gold stories, #change seat, #six hour flight

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "At the airport" The huge, annoying woman spots Dilbert and yells, "Hey, Dilbert! We must be taking the same flight!" Woman says, "I'll change my seat assignment so we can talk for six hours." Dilbert exclaims, "No, no! That's okay!" Dilbert doesn't want to sit by her. Sitting next to each other on the plane, woman says, "These flights can be very long if you don't have someone to listen to your golf stories."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #salay, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss, "I didn't work up to my full potential today." Dilbert continues, "Naturally, I'll be refunding a portion of my salary to the company." The Boss says, "Uh . . . We don't really have a process for that." Dilbert says, "What? That's almost like saying it's okay to work below my potential." Dilbert screams, "Hey guys! You were right! The pay's the same whether you try or not!" Wally says, "That's great! I didn't do squat today!" Ted adds, "I played 'Tetris.'" Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for the clarification." Wally says, "It's a big time-saver." The Boss thinks, "Hey, I actually got paid for that!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #act as boss, #imitates her boss, #alice, #funny faces, #makes hair pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, you should act as if you're your own boss." Alice replies, "Okay." Alice grabs her hair into two sections and says, "My hair is pointy and I'm confused. Suddenly I have no respect for myself." Alice looks dazed. She slumps in her chair and says, "Must...golf... now." The Boss responds, "That is so-o-o not funny."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #ne whore, #break room, #pushy, #punchable, #met alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "Hey, big guy, how's your golf game lately?" Dilbert: "I've only known you for three seconds and already I have a deep desire to punch you." Man: But no one ever does." Dilbert: "Have you met Alice?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar "I'll show you how to spend your golden years on the golf course." "Get a job caddying for people who have better jobs than you." "Never pay rent again, thanks to the patented Dogbert breathing tube for sand traps!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"What type of meeting decision-making style will we be using today?" "Will it be authoritative, consultative, voting or consensus?" "Shut your coffee hole." "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"When I was a kid, we didn't have any cell phones, iPods, video games, or computers." "I played outside. My only toy was tree bark." "Were you raised by squirrels?" "No, I'm just mature."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #employees, #late, #chronically late, #pre meeting, #trick, #chronic lateness, #power, #selfish, #bad attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2008's comic on:


Tags #lap top, #needs, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Maybe I could use your laptop until we have the budget to get me a computer that works." The Boss says, "I might need my laptop." Dilbert says, "I already need it." The Boss says, "I need you to stop needing it." Dilbert says, "Well played."