Pointy Haired Loser Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for pointy haired loser comic strips. Discover the best "Pointy Haired Loser" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gloating, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #alice in charge, #better than, #business

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Alice: Our pointy haired boss put me in charge while he's gone. Thats proof that Im better than you...and you...and you...and you... and you. Oh look: thats the only thing on my agenda!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #flattery, #suspicion, #manipulate, #full benefit, #wisdom, #george clooney

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Dilbert: We can manipulate the pointy-haired menace into picking the right plan by comparing it to the worst alternatives. Alice: But then we wouldn't get the full benefit of his wisdom. Dilbert: Is he behind me? Alice: It might be George Clooney. I can't tell them apart.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #different, #employees, #goals, #work little, #year ahead, #your goals, #my goals, #business

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Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

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Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consulting, #liver, #slab of liver, #harvard mba, #good debaters, #brains wrapped

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"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #project, #cooler, #acronym, #joke, #anticipated, #beginning, #binders, #fulfilling, #Dogbert, #job

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"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit glass ceiling, #play the game, #promote you, #dresses like boss, #suit, #pointy haired

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Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "I've hit the glass ceiling. I'll never be promoted again." Wally replies, "That's because you're not willing to 'play the game.' You have to look and act like the person who can promote you." In order to look like the Boss, Alice shapes her hair into two points, puts on a suit and stuffs a pillow under her shirt. The Boss sees her and thinks, "Ooo la la!" Alice thinks, "This had better work."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoid boss, #proved worng, #boss disequilibrium, #photocopies, #proofread

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Dilbert peers around the corner and tells Alice, "Avoid the pointy-haired boss today. I proved him wrong about something." Alice replies, "Oh, terrific. Now he's in a state of boss disequillibrium until he proves he's RIGHT about something." Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally shouts, "They're PHOTOCOPIES! You don't need to proofread EACH ONE!" The Boss says, "We'll see about that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud of doom, #transfer, #new host body, #starts tim down, #Dogbert, #director special projects, #doom

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Dogbert stands on a stool and tells Dilbert, "The only way to get rid of your cloud of doom is to transfer it to a new host body." The cloud hovers over Dilbert's head. Dogbert says, "I will accomplish this with the help of your pointy-haired boss and a clueless co-worker named Tim." Dogbert straps Tim to a table and says, "We're secure. Begin transfer." The Boss looks at a document and says, "Tim, your new job will be director of special projects." The cloud moves toward Tim.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss plane crash, #leave early, #mixed feelings, #plane crash, #want cake, #mourn, #celebrate

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Alice leans into the conference room where Wally and Dilbert are sitting at the table. Alice says, "I just heard that our pointy-haired boss's plane crashed." Wally says, "I must admit I have mixed feelings." Dilbert says, "You don't know if you should mourn or celebrate, right?" Wally says, "No, I mean celebrate or leave early." Asok the Intern walk in wearing a party hat and says, "Hurry if you want some cake."