Prepare Proposal Comic Strips - Page 4
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47 Results for Prepare Proposal
View 31 - 40 results for prepare proposal comic strips. Discover the best "Prepare Proposal" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 12,
2006
Saturday March 10,
2007
Saturday January 05,
2013
Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #never anticiptae, #first draft, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to help prepare me for my meeting tomorrow. Write up some answers to the questions we could never anticipate. Dilbert: I wouldn't expect much out of my first draft.
Wednesday February 27,
2008
Tags #wall of approval, #heckler, #conceptual bricks, #tough audience, #aggressive, #dislike
Transcript
Each department that signs off on the proposal adds a brick to the wall of approval." approval process " Alice: Question: What would happen if I flung one of those conceptual bricks at your conceptual, stupid head? They warned me you were a tough audience. Alice: Fling! Fling!
Sunday September 19,
2010
Tags #meeting, #proposals, #technical, #swivel chair, #front, #intelligence test, #smart, #joke, #monkey, #time, #animals, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I don't understand either of your technical proposals, and I need to pick one." The Boss says, "Normally I'd use favoritism, but I don't like either one of you." The Boss says, "So I'll give you an intelligence test, and I'll approve the proposal of whoever is the smartest." The Boss says, "If you shoot an arrow at a monkey from an airplane..." The Boss says, "And the monkey throws a coconut at the incoming arrow to stop it, but he misses..." The Boss says, "How can you tell what time it is?" Dilbert says, "There's not enough data." Coworker says, "You look at your watch?" The Boss says, "The correct answer is 'Ask the monkey and hope he doesn't hold a grudge."
Thursday November 08,
2007
Tags #bar code scanner, #lab tests, #capital budget, #varainace, #three bids, #form a team, #purchase order, #quitters
Transcript
"I need a $1,600 handheld bar code scanner to finish my lab tests." "Okay. Apply for a capital budget variance, prepare an RFP, get three bids, form a team to evaluate the bids, then prepare a purchase order." "Never mind. I'll just learn how to read bar codes by sight." "Quitter."
Sunday November 12,
2006
Transcript
"Before you energize my team with your proposal, let me introduce everyone." "This is Wally. He'll show no reaction because he hopes apathy will kill our idea before it creates work." "This is Alice. She'll leave halfway through your presentation to take a phone call." "This is Asok. He'll be enthusiastic because he doesn't understand how the real world works." "This is Dilbert. He'll tell you why your idea is impossible." "This is Carol. She'll spend the entire meeting wondering if that's your real hair." "And this is Ted. He gave his two-weeks' notice last week." "And I like to keep my eyes closed the entire time because of my allergies. Go."
Sunday August 06,
2000
Tags #video cameras installed, #id badges, #internet, #phone use monitored, #drug testing, #hot irons, #brand awareness, #branding, #employees, #business, #technology
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Video cameras have been installed in all work areas." Catbert holds up a badge and says, "Employees must wear I.D. badges around their neck." Catbert continues, "Your internet and telephone usage will be monitored." Catbert continues, "Everyone will undergo mandatory drug testing." Catbert thinks to himself, "They're not resisting. They're ready for phase two." Catbert says, "Prepare to be permanently marked by hot ironos." The Boss asks Catbert, "Will that hurt?" Catbert answers, "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking." Everyone holds Wally down on the table as Catbert announces, "Wally is about to experience brand awareness."
Monday May 13,
2013
Tags #boss, #inventions, #joking, #remote control, #shocked, #stick collar, #wearable computing, #necklace computer
Transcript
Wally: Wearable computing is the next big thing. This is my prototype of a necklace computer. Prepare to be shocked. Dilbert: Did you just talk him into wearing a remotely controlled shock collar? Wally: People think I have no goals. click.
Tuesday June 25,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #time estimate, #propsal, #win bid, #wet sponge, #insulted me, #business
Transcript
Boss: I adjusted your time estimate on the proposal from two years to one so we could win the bid. I plan to make up the time by squeezing you like a wet sponge that insulted me. Then the wet sponge insulted me.