Prevent Success Comic Strips - Page 4
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195 Results for Prevent Success
View 31 - 40 results for prevent success comic strips. Discover the best "Prevent Success" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 18,
2004
Tags #product designer, #success, #best artists, #design professionals, #ate crayons, #intruders
Transcript
Product designer Dogbert: Good design is essential to you success. Thats why I empty only the best artists and design professionals. Who ate all the crayons again?! Ratbert: Intruders?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday March 05,
2005
Tags #business trip, #success, #civil war, #plunged, #society, #darkenes, #loot anything
Transcript
Wally: "My business trip to Elbonia was a success." "If anyone tells you that I cause a civil war that plunged their society into darkness, it's a lie." The Boss: "Did you loot me anything?" wally: "I didn't know your size."
Friday July 22,
2005
Tags #minor success, #chance corporate ruination
Transcript
The project has a 70% chance of minor success and a 30% chance of corporate ruination. The Boss: I like those odds. when can we start. Dilbert: Start? I wish we had ten more projects like this one.
Wednesday August 29,
2012
Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business
Transcript
Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!
Wednesday September 19,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #key to success, #knowing when to quit
Transcript
CEO: Persistence is the key to success. The other key is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: The right time for you was one sentence sooner.
Tuesday November 20,
2012
Tags #prosperity, #persistence, #key to success, #know when to quit, #contardcitory, #flexibilty
Transcript
Boss: Persistence is the key to success. The other key to success is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: Your advice is contradictory nonsense. Boss: Because flexibility is the key to success.
Sunday January 20,
2013
Tags #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #video, #echo, #background noise, #thick accent, #hard to hear, #bad audio, #computer, #skype, #waving goodbye, #success, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't hear you. There's too much background noise and echo in your end. Computer: Gerple Murmp. Dilbert: I see a smudgy thing that might be your head, but I don't know what you're saying. Your accent is too thick. I can't... Computer: Muwa flamel guapen. Dilbert: I didn't understand what you said, and I can't tell which one of you is talking. Why don't... Computer: Urgam... Dilbert: Okay, you go. Computer: Ekplum. Dilbert: What? Computer: Mungow. Dilbert: Did you say... Computer: Plurb. Dilbert: You're acting as if I agreed to something, but I don't even know what the topic is. I see you waving goodbye, so you must think we're done. Boss: Was your call a success? Dilbert: Better than anything I've done all week.
Wednesday April 16,
2008
Tags #success, #5 minute daily huddle, #obstacles
Transcript
The Boss: Who has some success to share at our 5-minute daily huddle? The Boss: Okay...Are there any obstacles? Asok: Everything.
Thursday April 22,
2010
Tags #meeting, #definition of success, #slowing of failure, #rate of doing nothing, #improve, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The company is happy to annouce that compaired to previous years, we improved our rate of revenue decline." The Boss says, "We've been doing great since we redefined success as a slowing of failure." The Boss says, "Moving on. Who has a status report?" Wally says, "I improved my rate of doing nothing."
Tuesday June 29,
2010
Tags #slug, #success, #energy, #fast, #fat, #stick paper, #slimy, #face, #health
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My success depends on your doing your role in a timely and energetic manner." Dilbert says, "People say you're a big, fat slug, but I have confidence in you. I'll stick this to your slimy face and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character."