Project Managers Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Project Managers

View 31 - 40 results for project managers comic strips. Discover the best "Project Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Quotes Out Of Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #context, #dumb, #employment, #face mask, #malice, #managers & supervisors, #out of context, #project, #quote, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

No Update Needed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Update Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #assignment, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #project, #robot, #sarcasm, #technology, #update

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #people, #project, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.

Asok Is Overpaid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #technology, #time, #pay, #argue, #math, #face mask, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

Make Or Break Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make Or Break Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #career, #performance, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm putting you in charge of a project that will make or break your career. this is the big one. the rest of your life will depend on how you perform on this project. dilbert: what's my budget? boss: no budget.

Gaming The System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #wrong, #believe, #system, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

Project Is Not Feasible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Is Not Feasible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #plan, #feasible, #back stab, #defend, #laptop, #cell phone, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.

Project On Hold

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project On Hold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #hold, #opposite, #Opinion, #change, #football, #analogy, #goalpost, #fact, #laptop, #video call

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on video call. dilbert: and that's why we should put the project on hold for now. voice from laptop: hahahaha! that's exactly the opposite of what you said last week. dilbert: i sometimes change my opinions when the facts change. how do you play it? voice from laptop: now you're moving the goalposts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.