Proved Correct Comic Strips - Page 4
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51 Results for Proved Correct
View 31 - 40 results for proved correct comic strips. Discover the best "Proved Correct" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 28,
2008
Tags #decison, #needs of decsion, #hour, #badger, #spiteful boss
Transcript
Alice: I need a decision, but it involves more than one variable and I know you can't handle that. I'll give you an hour to dither before I badger you into making the correct decision. The Boss: I'm going to dither for two hours just to show her who is in charge."
Wednesday October 07,
2009
Tags #pay, #salary, #money, #complaining, #sub-par, #angry, #promise, #mean, #cruel
Transcript
The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"
Sunday September 19,
2010
Tags #meeting, #proposals, #technical, #swivel chair, #front, #intelligence test, #smart, #joke, #monkey, #time, #animals, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I don't understand either of your technical proposals, and I need to pick one." The Boss says, "Normally I'd use favoritism, but I don't like either one of you." The Boss says, "So I'll give you an intelligence test, and I'll approve the proposal of whoever is the smartest." The Boss says, "If you shoot an arrow at a monkey from an airplane..." The Boss says, "And the monkey throws a coconut at the incoming arrow to stop it, but he misses..." The Boss says, "How can you tell what time it is?" Dilbert says, "There's not enough data." Coworker says, "You look at your watch?" The Boss says, "The correct answer is 'Ask the monkey and hope he doesn't hold a grudge."
Thursday November 15,
2007
Tags #flash, #java script, #website, #fast guy in tights, #movie about coffee, #code words, #remember, #technology
Transcript
The Boss: Then we program the web site using a fast guy in tights and a movie about coffee. "Correct me if I'm wrong." Dilbert: "We use flash and java script." "I said 'IF'!!!"
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.
Wednesday June 15,
2016
Social Justice Warrior
Tags #sjw, #hiring, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #sensitivity, #political correcness, #politically correct, #technology
Transcript
Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!
Thursday June 16,
2016
Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior
Tags #sjw, #internet, #personality, #political correctness, #politically correct, #flirting, #insult, #masculinity, #technology, #psychology
Transcript
Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.
Saturday November 19,
2016
Offending The Janitor
Tags #politically correct, #offensive, #language, #misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I have to fire you because you said something that offended the janitor. Ted: What did I say?! Boss: I don't know. The janitor has a thick accent and he's terrible at charades. Elbonian 1: Did you take care of the buy who keeps putting banana peels in the recycling? Elbonian 2: He won't do it again.
Tuesday February 28,
2017
Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable
Tags #comparison, #gandhi, #Politics, #offense, #offensive, #sensitive, #politically correct, #political correctness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?
Friday March 03,
2017
Wally Offended Everyone
Tags #offense, #offensive, #sensitivity, #political correctness, #politically correct
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.