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View 31 - 40 results for public fountain comic strips. Discover the best "Public Fountain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

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Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense

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dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, financial model, complicated, formula errors, management, figures support, schemes for career development, life is ridiculous

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Man: My financial model in Excel is so complicated that I assume it's riddled with formula errors. But that's okay because management only uses the results when the figures support their schemes for career advancement. Uh-oh. I just realized that my life is ridiculous. Boss: Do you have hand-outs?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, questioning, draw attention, opposite apporach, working

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Dilbert: And so, as you can see... Man: All of the numbers I gave you last week are wrong. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I don't like to draw attention to myself. I see that you're taking the opposite approach. How's that working for you?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, public speaking, questioning, embrace failures, learn from them

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Boss: We must embrace our failures and learn from them. Alice: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Wally: How's the learning coming along?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, office equipment, public speaking, ordinary powerpoint, portal, another dimension, fantasy, reality, trade places, slides

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Dilbert: This might look like an ordinary Powerpoint slide. But it is actually a portal to another dimension in which fantasy and reality have traded places. Boss: Stop playing with my slides. Dilbert: Beware the horned beast that crosses over.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, public speaking, spit take, industrial sludge, intern will drink

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CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, public speaking, let slide, power point, presentation, bored, sleeping audience, low expectations

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Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, public speaking, powerpoint slides, intelligent viwers, manipulative anecdotes, boss died, praise employees

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Dilbert: My PowerPoint slides have a little something for everyone. For my intelligent viewers, I have data, and for the morons, I have manipulative anecdotes. Which reminds me-- did you hear about the boss who died because he didn't praise his employee?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags being freightened, creepy vibe, leadership, obsolete, public speaking, sense of urgency, thread the needle, tech platforms

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Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusing, multiple pages, public speaking, real words, small text, unpersuasive, computer, desk, no one can read, technology

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Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.