Rational Budget Decions Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

323 Results for Rational Budget Decions

View 31 - 40 results for rational budget decions comic strips. Discover the best "Rational Budget Decions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #patent, #budget, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminated budget, #getting dumber, #brain shrivel, #hair different

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You've completely eliminated the budget for technical training! Im getting dumber every minute, My brain is starting to shrivel like a raisin! The Boss: Get out of my office. Dilbert: even my hair feels different.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut budget, #spinning, #flung, #space, #locusts, #fling locusts

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "According to you, if I cut your budget the world will abruptly stop spinning and we'll be flung into space." Tina: "Whereas, the risk of cutting Dilbert's project is '...a plage of locusts o'er the land.'" "I'll cut both projects. With any luck, we'll fling the locusts into space." Wally: "Locusts. Real good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #break gradually, #budget worked on, #build up, #effort, #reorganizing dept., #worthless, #you're fired

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've been asked to reduce our budget. I'm going to offer to cut your project because it's the most critical." The Boss continues, "The finance guys won't dare cut that project. My ploy will spare us from any cuts at all." Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I panic." The Boss says, "Tell me again what your project is about. They might ask."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #increase budget, #training, #leave the company, #more money, #competitor, #down side

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. Wally demands, "You've got to increase the budget for training!" The Boss responds, "If I train you, then wouldn't you just leave the company to make more money working for our competitor?" Wally says, "I guess there is a downside." The Boss asks, "And the downside would be . . . ?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jet pilot experimce, #ow hard, #money, #pretty boy, #experience, #corporate jet, #budget pressure, #pilot eject seat

View Transcript

Transcript

A man reads Dogbert's resume and asks him, "Your resume doesn't list any experience as a jet pilot, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "How hard could it be?" Dogbert continues, "You could spend a lot of money on some pretty boy pilot with experience, or you can save a few bucks and have ME drive the corporate jet." The man says, "I AM under a lot of budget pressure . . . And I'm not allowed on the jet myself . . ." Dogbert asks, "It has a pilot eject seat, right?"