Read Books Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

231 Results for Read Books

View 31 - 40 results for read books comic strips. Discover the best "Read Books" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch time, #barely came late, #work, #eat, #plaumbing, #read apaper, #non urgency, #moring at offcie, #slacker, #stale job

View Transcript

Transcript

"Are you going to lunch?" "Lunch already?" "Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper." "You take your non-work seriously." "I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupidity, #at eork, #anti stupid gun, #annihilates stupid part, #rest intect, #read directions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There seems to be more stupidity than usual at work. Garbageman: Borrow my antisyupidius gun. It annihilates the stupid part of a person and leaves the rest intact. Dilbert: Cool Dilbert: I should have read the directions more carefully,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chapter 23, #photo copy, #see how yourself, #books, #full of information, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Dilbert with a book in hand. The Boss says, "Let's see.. your defects are discussed in chapter 23." The Boss continues, "I'll give you a photocopy so you can see how to fix it yourself." As The Boss walks away, he thinks, "Books are full of information."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial bakery, #abuse, #zero units, #cook books, #foot notes, #smell like feet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to 'Dogbert's Financial Bakery.' How may I abuse you?" A man says, "We shipped zero units this quarter. Can you cook our books?" Dogbert says, "Of course." The man says, "Will anyone know?" Dogbert says, "Sometimes the footnotes smell like actual feet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cooked books, #pension fund, #15% per year, #crooks, #optimists, #whistling noise, #soul escaping

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #incompetent, #dogbert investment bank, #shareholder, #bribe, #merger, #unwise, #commission, #best seller, #read, #jail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #powerpoint, #waste time, #slow motion, #read, #project emu, #tie, #pull, #yank, #strangle, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I could've e-mailed you my powerpoint deck, and you could have read it in five minutes." Man says, "But I prefer making you sit here for an hour while I read each bullet point in slow motion." Man says, "P-o-i-n-t n-u-m-b-e-r o-n-e?" Wally says, "Yank this as hard as you can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #changes, #pension plan, #company wide, #email, #read email, #compulsion, #details, #engineers, #brain, #best meeting, #humiliate boss, #called out

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." Alice: "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." Dilbert: "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." Alice: "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." ask: "You can't stop yourself. it's some sort of compulsion." Alice: "If you read that e-mail, it's proof that something is wrong with your brain." The Boss: "Can't...resist...reading...e-mail." "GAAA!!!" Alice & Dilbert: "Best meeting ever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy insurance, #whole life umbrella rider, #read list, #acts of god, #wrong god, #lighting strike

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to buy some insurance, but I don't know much about it." "You need my special indemnity casualty whole life umbrella rider binder." "What does it cover?" "I can't answer that directly?" "Just read that list of exclusions. Anything not in there is covered." "Does it cover acts of God?" "Yes, unless you pray to the wrong one." "How do I know if it's the wrong god?" "If you buy this insurance, and lightning doesn't strike me, try another god."