Real Comic Strips - Page 4
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188 Results for Real
View 31 - 40 results for real comic strips. Discover the best "Real" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 21,
2002
Tags demoting to engineer, job to crony, real work, pretend, working, one wally
Transcript
The new Senior Vice President says to The Boss, "I'm demoting you to engineer so I can give your current job to one of my cronies." The Boss exclaims, "I won't survive. I don't know how to do real work!" The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, can you teach me how to pretend to be working?" Wally replies, "Whoa! There can only be one Wally."
Thursday January 30,
2003
Tags excellent visibility, secret, created mindless replica, totally real
Transcript
Dilbert and his Visibuddy are both sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Your visibility has been excellent lately. What's your secret?" Dilbert turns and responds, "I created a mindless replica to attend meetings. He has no personality whatsoever." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! You look totally real." The Visibuddy responds, " Hee hee! Burn, dude."
Monday April 19,
2004
Tags real estate, sell house, agent, doesn't know maybe, moving fast, control process, escrow closes
Transcript
Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."
Tuesday April 20,
2004
Tags backs up, fake news, lake view, potential fire place, rains, real estate charlatan, seasonal skylight, sweras, turning bad into good, well written
Transcript
Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."
Wednesday April 21,
2004
Tags real estate agent, documents, overarched homes, scarecrow manuafactirer, run over
Transcript
The real estate agent DOgbert: Initial every page of this steaming mound of documents. Dilbert: This says that if I insist on overpricing my house then my agent can run over me with an SUV and... sell my clothes to a scarecrow manufacturer. Dogbert: its rarely enforced.
Thursday April 22,
2004
Tags real estate agent, 10 million, first property, covered with frogs, banshee farm, access road, boiling cesspool
Transcript
The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.
Friday April 23,
2004
Tags show one house, lying real estate agent, loser
Transcript
The real estate agent dogcart: if you don't buy the house I showed you someone else will. and every time it appreciates another million dollars you will cry out, "why was I so stupid?! why?! Why?!" And I'll be all, "Loser! LO-O-O - sir!" are you really not allowed to show me more than one house?
Wednesday July 25,
2012
Tags writers, product descirption, 26 oclock, fleemsday, group writing, real
Transcript
Tina: Can we schedule a time to write the product description together? Dilbert: Sure. How about 26 o'clock next Fleemsday? Tina: That's not a real time. Dilbert: It's as real as the productivity of group writing.
Monday September 13,
2004
Tags daughter sneezed, work from home, answer boss phone, phone messages aren't real, bitung humor
Transcript
Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."
Saturday December 24,
2005
Tags power point zone, real wolrd, bullet points, imaginary prodcutivity, eight lsides
Transcript
I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"