The new Senior Vice President says to The Boss, "I'm demoting you to engineer so I can give your current job to one of my cronies." The Boss exclaims, "I won't survive. I don't know how to do real work!" The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, can you teach me how to pretend to be working?" Wally replies, "Whoa! There can only be one Wally."
Dilbert and his Visibuddy are both sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Your visibility has been excellent lately. What's your secret?" Dilbert turns and responds, "I created a mindless replica to attend meetings. He has no personality whatsoever." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! You look totally real." The Visibuddy responds, " Hee hee! Burn, dude."
Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one."
Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent."
Dilbert: "I said maybe."
Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word."
Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process."
Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."
Dogbert the real estate agent
"When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway."
"Lake view."
"Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food."
"Seasonal skylight."
"The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard."
"Potential, fireplace."
The real estate agent
DOgbert: Initial every page of this steaming mound of documents.
Dilbert: This says that if I insist on overpricing my house then my agent can run over me with an SUV and...
sell my clothes to a scarecrow manufacturer.
Dogbert: its rarely enforced.
The real estate agent
The first property costs $10 million.
Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm.
The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.
The real estate agent
dogcart:
if you don't buy the house I showed you someone else will.
and every time it appreciates another million dollars you will cry out, "why was I so stupid?! why?! Why?!"
And I'll be all, "Loser! LO-O-O - sir!"
are you really not allowed to show me more than one house?
Tina: Can we schedule a time to write the product description together? Dilbert: Sure. How about 26 o'clock next Fleemsday? Tina: That's not a real time. Dilbert: It's as real as the productivity of group writing.
Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home."
"I'll work from home for the rest of the day."
The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?"
Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."
I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"
