Reduce Call Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

524 Results for Reduce Call

View 31 - 40 results for reduce call comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Call" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #be competetive, #carpets, #Catbert, #evil director, #evil policies, #foot sizing program, #no compalints, #reduce wear and tear, #tail twitching, #wear shoes smaller

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands at his desk thinking, "My tail is twitching . . ." Catbert thinks, "That can only mean it's time to write some more evil policies." Catbert types, "To: all employees. Subject: new policy." Dilbert gets the e-mail message and reads, "Employees must wear shoes that are one size smaller than their feet." Alice reads, "This will reduce wear and tear on carpets by five percent." Catbert thinks, "This is my favorite part." He types, "We must do this to be competitive." A woman enters Catbert's office and says, "I'm a reporter for 'Evil HR Policies Weekly.' Do you have any success stories?" Catbert purrs. The caption says, "This is how industry practices are born." The journalist asks, "Has anyone complained about the 'Footsizing' program?" Catbert replies, "I haven't listened to a single complaint."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #coaching session, #never returned call, #obstacle course, #unpleasant coworker, #blissful, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Office obstacle course." Dilbert walks down the hall. He sees another man and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Phil. I never returned his call. Walk faster." Dilbert runs into the elevator as the doors close. He thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert peers around a corner and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's an unpleasant co-worker who wants to be my friend." Dilbert walks behind Wally and a woman and thinks, "The clever engineer blends with the herd to avoid detection." Dilbert stands by Alice's desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, I owe Alice some information." Alice's phone rings. As Alice answers the phone, Dilbert runs by her desk and thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "There's only one more obstacle between me and blissful productivity." The Boss comes around the corner. Dilbert runs into the Boss and shouts, "My whole day is ruined!!!" The Boss says, "It looks like you need a one-on-one coaching session."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #quick phone call, #make small talk, #brought a magazine, #alice, #panty hose

View Transcript

Transcript

At the staff meeting, The Boss pokes his head in and says, "I have to make a quick phone call." Dilbert says, "Do you want to make small talk?" Wally says, "No." Wally says, "I brought a magazine." Dilbert asks,"Could you tear out a few pages for me to read?" Wally says, "That wouldn't be right." Dilbert says, "Give me some pages or else I'll ask Alice about panty hose." Dilbert says, "You wouldn't dare." Dilbert says, "So, Alice, what do you think about the concept of panty hose?" Alice screams, "Aaargh!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?!" Wally tears some pages out from his magazine and offers them to Dilbert saying, "Make it stop!" Dilbert says, "Too late." Alice puts her legs up on the table and says, "Look at this!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #profits good, #manager, #credit card, #900 call, #airplane phone, #call wife, #traveling

View Transcript

Transcript

Man points to an overhead projection of a graph. He says, "Our profits were good until a manager.." The boss sits, looking suprised, between two mad peers. The man with the overhead says, "...used his credit card to make a 900 call from an airplane phone." The boss says, "Hey, I'm allowed to call my wife when I'm traveling!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #astrologer, #plotting, #rip off, #astrologer charging, #plotting rip off, #hourly billing, #prefer to call

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits in meeting next to Dogbert who is dressed in a turban. The boss says, "My atrologer tells me that someone here is plotting to rip me off." Asok says, "How much is your atrologer charging you?" The boss says, "Are you plotting to rip me off?" Dogbert says, "I prefer to call it hourly billing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #process will fail, #everything, #plan work, #many tools, #conference call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with another man (Ted). Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "You're suggesting a process that will fail even if we do evrything right." The man says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "Listen carefully. No amount of skill or effort can make this plan work." The guy says, "No pain, no gain." Dilbert says, "you're not working with many tools here, are you?" The man says, "We need some sort of conferance call."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quick call, #continue, #presentation, #ignore, #vice presidentail, #pile of money, #capital spending, #small phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a conference room. A man's cell phone rings and he says, "Continue with your presentation while I take this quick call." Dilbert says, "Go ahead and ignore me, you vice presidential pile of stinkin' monkey.." The man says, "Okay, bye." Dilbert says, "Crapital spending." The man says, "Look how small my phone is."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #million dollars, #call bluff, #going now, #long debate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #shut up, #reboot, #shut up and hang up, #call time, #improving

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert's tech Support" Dogbert answers the phone at his computer. The voice on the phone says, "Hello, I..." Dogbert says, "Shut up and reboot." The voice on the phone says, "Hey, it work..." Dogbert says, "Shut up and hang up.." Dogbert looks at his watch and thinks, "My average call time is improving."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."