Remote Control Comic Strips - Page 4

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162 Results for Remote Control

View 31 - 40 results for remote control comic strips. Discover the best "Remote Control" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1996's comic on:


Tags #critical code, #air traffic control, #gifted programmer, #payroll system, #dont fly, #pay day

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Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "Wally writes the critical code for our nation's new air traffic control system. The crowd is silent." Wally thinks, "Suddenly the gifted programmer employs a rarely seen strategy of 'code reuse.' The crowd goes wild." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit a table eating lunch. Dilbert asks Wally, "So you used code from the payroll system?" Wally replies, "Here's a tip: don't fly on pay day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #air traffic control system, #on time, #under budget, #feature creep, #dangerous, #wall clock

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Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #chips, #hear, #latest, #brain, #research, #proven, #stimulation, #conscious, #absurd, #rationalizations, #random, #interaction, #arguably, #control

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Ratbert sits on the hassock eating potato chips. Dogbert says, "Hi, Ratbert, may I have some chips?" Ratbert answers, "No, sorry. There are only enough for one." Dogbert asks, "Did you hear about the latest brain research?" Dogbert says, "Science has proven that the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought doesn't show any stimulation until AFTER you act." Dogbert continues, "That means you never make conscious decisions; all you do is rationalize what you've done after the fact." Dogbert continues, "Your life is nothing but a series of absurd rationalizations for the random interaction of chemicals in your brain." Ratbert starts blinking. Ratbert falls over, drops the bag of chips and screams, "Aaagh!!! My life is absurd!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock eating the chips. He says, "That was mean, but aruguably I couldn't control myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #control, #during takeouff, #laptop computer, #plane control, #takeoff, #plane descent, #excel, #pilot communication

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Carol, the Boss's secretary, sits in her cubicle. She says to the Boss, "Have a nice flight. Remember to turn on your laptop during takeoff." The Boss says, "I thought they tell you to turn it OFF." Carol responds, "Off?!! How would they transfer control to you if they had trouble?" A jet falls straight down towards the ground. The pilot screams, "Turn off that !*#$ laptop!" The Boss says, "No way! I have to land this baby!... Can I do that in 'Excel'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #meeting objectives, #sources, #one objective, #control fists

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The Boss sits behind his desk. Alice stands. The boss says, "My sources tell me that you're not meeting your objectives." Alice says, "That's not true. Who are these sources? Name one objective I haven't met." The Boss says, "I don't even know what your objectives are." Alice clenches her fists of death, Alice thinks, "Must.. control... fists."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #control, #deadbeats, #for scuccess, #mangers, #reorganize, #subgroup, #thrown out window, #whiners

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- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #drunk, #out of control, #on a date, #can't get date, #whose idea

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Dilbert, dressed in a coat, is strolling with Dogbert. Dilbert says, "I'll never get drunk. I don't want to be out of control." Dogert asks, "Are you in control at work?" Dilbert answers, "Well.....no." Dogbert asks, "Are you in control when you're on a date?" Dilbert responds, "I can't get a date." Dogbert continues, "And whose idea was it to go on this walk?" Dilbert answers,"Yours." Dilbert lifts Dogbert up on a rock to sit. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that I should get drunk?" Dogbert answers, "No,no." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying the decision will be made by the beer companies." A seated Dilbert responds, "I hope they say that it's okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #can't control, #based on perfromance, #not a team player

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Dilbert and Wally are sitting at a table with notes and coffee in front of them and sitting opposite them is the boss. Wally says, "...And since our bonuses depend on things we can't control..." Wally continues, "...Can mine be based on the performance of some other company?" Dilbert and Wally are walking off and Wally says to Dilbert, "You ask one question and sussenly you're not a team player."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2000's comic on:


Tags #outside jobs, #control my life, #control what i think, #evil hr director

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to Asok, "You need my approval for any outside jobs." Asok replies, "Oh, my...I have the sudden realization that you control my entire life." Asok continues, "But you can't control what I think!" Catbert continues to read without responding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #sales department, #die, #deaths, #bile, #quality control

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Man: Hello, is this the sales department? Elbonian 1: May you die a thousand deaths by choking on your own bile. Supervisor may be monitoring this call for quality control, Elbonian 2: Its good.