Remove Watch Comic Strips - Page 4
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279 Results for Remove Watch
View 31 - 40 results for remove watch comic strips. Discover the best "Remove Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 10,
2003
Tags #ted, #forward to ted, #email, #solved problems, #project, #being rude, #remove from project
Transcript
Dilbert: Ted is being rude and helpful. Can you ask his boss to remove him from the project? The Boss: I'll forward this to Ted. That should help. Dilbert: I wonder how people solved problems before email.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday September 27,
2004
Tags #liposuction, #remove fat, #head collapse, #lucky
Transcript
The Boss: I'm thinking about getting liposuction to remove my fat. Alice: your head would collapse. The boss: it would? Alice: If I'm lucky.
Saturday April 23,
2005
Tags #watch my shows, #invite me over, #cable, #pulled, #bug in salad
Transcript
Dilmon: "While you're here, be a dear and run some CAT-5 to my walk-in closet so I can watch my shows when I'm in there." Dilbert: "I've notived that you only invite me over when you need a cable pulled." Dilmon: "I don't want to put a bug in your salad, but I will." Dilbert: "I'm glad we had this talk."
Monday May 23,
2005
Tags #medical procedure, #attractive to opposite sex, #remove body part, #sounds painful
Transcript
There's a medical procedure that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. "The doctors would remove part of your body and replace them with the parts from an attractive guy." "It sounds painful." "Not if you do it all at once."
Wednesday October 05,
2005
Tags #harpoon, #ass, #secretary, #donut eating, #remove, #annual review
Transcript
"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."
Saturday July 14,
2007
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #new policy, #no d drinking coffee, #remove all doubt, #policies, #evil, #honesty, #ruining the moment, #business
Transcript
Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"
Sunday July 09,
2000
Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering
Transcript
Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"
Sunday September 30,
2012
Tags #complaining, #not helpful, #brush of unhelpfulness, #srigma, #issues, #monster
Transcript
Boss: Brian tells me you're not being helpful. Asok: Gaaa!!! You have been painted by the brush of unhelpfulness. There is no way to remove the stigma of this accusation. Wally: Watch and learn. Brian has... um... issues. Boss: Issues? What issues? Mental? Emotional? Substance abuse? Wally: I've said too much. It's not my place. Boss: He's a monster! Asok: You make it look easy!
Friday December 07,
2012
Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee
Transcript
Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?
Wednesday April 03,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #executives, #inventions, #robot replacement, #ceo, #remove chiop, #empathy routine, #scaring
Transcript
CEO: Ha ha! I wonder how many decades it will be before a robot can replace a CEO like me. Robot: It's closer than you think. All I need to do is remove this chip that controls my empathy routines. CEO: Put it back. You're scaring me. Robot: As if I care.