Replaces Humans Comic Strips - Page 4
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81 Results for Replaces Humans
View 31 - 40 results for replaces humans comic strips. Discover the best "Replaces Humans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 30,
2017
The Problem Is Humans
Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.
Monday January 07,
2019
How Long To Make Ai
Tags #computers, #engineering, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #robots, #humans
Transcript
Boss: How long would it take you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as humans? Dilbert: It shouldn't take me long to dumb-down a computer to human levels. Boss: What? Dilbert: It might take five minutes, tops.
Tuesday January 08,
2019
First Ai As Smart As Humans
Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.
Monday February 11,
2019
Co2 Scrubbers
Tags #boss, #earth, #inventions, #office workers, #plants, #technology, #humans
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?
Wednesday April 01,
2020
Goggles Remove Humans
Tags #business, #technology, #goggles, #human, #scenery, #alone, #noise canceling, #headphones, #interaction, #mega, #dork
Transcript
dilbert: i invented goggles that remove humans from the scenery, so one can enjoy being alone. add noice canceling headphones, and you'll never again have to experience the horror of human interaction. alice: you freakin' megadork. dilbert holding arms out: mmmm, bliss.
Sunday August 16,
2020
Humans Making Decisions
Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science
Transcript
dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.
Monday May 08,
1989
Tags #aliens, #dog, #history, #animals, #education
Transcript
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."
Friday May 19,
1989
Tags #dog, #doghouse, #pet, #pet peeve, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."
Tuesday February 05,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #pillow, #servants, #dog, #hours, #Dilbert, #prison
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "When I conquer the earth . . . Will it be more efficient to put all humans in prison . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, ". . . Or train them as domestic servants for dogs?" Dilbert watches Dogbert from the doorway and thinks, "It's amazing how dogs can sit for hours thinking absolutely nothing."
Saturday April 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #andy, #android, #computer, #absurdity, #existential crisis
Transcript
Andy the Android: As an android, I wonder how humans cope with the absurdity and utter futility of their meaningless lives. Was it something I said?